


A Graced Life

by Montana



Series: Seven Kingdoms [1]
Category: Graceling - Kristin Cashore, Seven Kingdoms Trilogy - Kristin Cashore
Genre: F/M, Love, Motherhood, Post Bitterblue
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-26
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-16 05:46:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 23,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/858529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Montana/pseuds/Montana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place 2-3 years post Bitterlue</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Change of heart and mind

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic.... hope you like
> 
> I don't own any of these characters. They belong to Kristin Cashore.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katsa contemplates what led to her choosing to have a child with Po

Raffin cradles the newborn babe in his arms. The baby is clean and healthy. He turns and places the baby in Po's expecting arms. Once he feels the babe is secure he turns back to his cousin, Katsa, laying quietly on the cot. He leans down and kisses her on the forehead.

"I'll leave you to it," he says before standing and departing.

Katsa is exhausted but she pulls herself onto her elbows to see Po. He is still, almost as if he's stopped breathing. His head is tilted down but she can still see his face. Her own breath catches in her throat as she spots a tear trailing down Po's face. 

"Po," she whispers. 

"I can't see him Katsa. I can't see our son."

Katsa tries to move from the cot but is immediately reminded of how weak she is. She has never felt any of the like in her life. But then again, she has never brought a life into the world until now. She is determined to go to him, her man, she hoists herself up, pulling the linens around her as she does so.

When she makes it to the chair Po occupies she notices tear stains on their son's blanket. Her hands cup Po's face and she kisses his tears away. She manages "Oh Po" between her kisses.

She had not wanted children for a long time. Not because she didn't like them, but mostly because she never thought motherhood would suit her. She couldn't imagine being tied down in such a permanent way. It was the same reason she had not consented to become Po's wife or anyone else's for that matter. But somewhere along the way her mind and her heart had changed. 

She was never particularly bad with children, that much had been proved when she had to protect Bitterblue. There were also her lessons. As Katsa traveled the seven kingdoms she offered defense lessons to women of all ages. When Po accompanied her they would also teach boys. One day in Wester, Katsa had been working with a pair of girls when she caught sight of Po and was distracted. He was mentoring a boy and a girl, both of similar age, when the girl had gotten the better of the boy, causing him to fall and gash his leg on a sharp stone. It was the sight of Po rushing to the young boy that distracted Katsa so. She felt a warmth pool not only deep in her belly but also in her heart.

She had been selfish, this much Katsa could admit to. Po had expressed a desire for children before but he never tried to sway her on the matter, not even when Helda had gotten on his case. However, her mind had not changed just then, but it had indeed softened to the idea.

There seemed to be signs all over after that. Her heart would melt and she would feel that warmth in her belly every time she saw Po surrounded by his nieces and nephews. Sometime after that she aided a pregnant Graceling escape the oppressive kingdom of Sunder. The woman had gone into labor just north of Sunport with only Katsa to help birth the baby. When she placed the baby in it's mother's arms Katsa couldn't help but notice how the woman's eyes lit up at the sight of her daughter. Katsa found herself asking the new mother plenty of questions on the ship they boarded to Monport. 

The final straw had occurred along the Port Road as she traveled to Bitterblue City. She encountered a young Graceling boy crying in the brush just off the side of the road. Once she was able to calm him down from his hysterics she was able to understand the boy, but only between his sobs. He was only four and his grace had just made himself known. He had been sleeping in his bed, his parents in the next room, when he opened his eyes to find himself in the woods. He and his family lived just outside of Bitterblue City. It became Katsa's mission to return the child to his parents. She found that it didn't bother her so much as she thought it would to be accompanied by a small child. She had quite the knack for taking care of children, actually. 

It was night when she returned to Lienid, to Po's castle, more than 2 moons later. As she lifted the fur blankets she felt Po stir. She pressed her lips to his and poured in her feelings: longing, desire, hope, love. She swung her leg over him, straddling his already aroused body.

"I want to have a baby, Po."

Po stiffened. His hand came to her forehead, first his palm then the back of his hand.

"What are you doing?" She swatted him away.

"Checking to see if you have a fever. Only a fever could make you say something like that."

"Po, you know that I don't get fevers. And nothing is making me say this other than me." He was quiet again and unmoving. Although he could no longer see with his eyes, in the moonlight Katsa saw his eyes moving over her face as if trying to find answers.

After a long silence he finally spoke. "Are you sure?"

Katsa nodded and a single tear found its way down her face. "I want to have a baby with you, Po." She thought he might really have gone into shock because of his stillness but then he moved, sitting up and cupped her face in his hands and kissed the salty trail her tear had made. It was not long after that they had changed positions, with Po on top, that they sought to making their baby.

It is the sound of their son's murmur that brings Katsa back to the present. The blanket wrapping their son had shifted, exposing some of his newborn pink flesh. Katsa moves to right it but does not take the child from Po's arms.

"He looks like you." She tells Po. Although he smiles it does not quite reach his eyes. Then the baby stirs.

"He's restless like you," Po says. Katsa can't help but kiss the top of Po's head. 

She studies the baby, builds the image of him in her mind, opening her mind to Po so that he might see through her eyes. They had spent a good amount of time practicing this. Katsa watches as their son opens his eyes. 

"Katsa! His eyes are blue! Both of them!" Her eyes slide up to Po's face to see the wrinkles around Po's eyes as his smile deepens. She quickly returns her gaze to their son so that Po can continue to see him too. "Perhaps that was the color of your eyes before your Graceling eyes settled."

"Could be." But it does not matter to Katsa. She has the love of her life, their child they had made together, all without giving up her freedom. 

"Katsa."

"Mhm." She softly caresses the sensitive skin of their son's brow.

"Do you think his eyes will settle?" Meaning their son to be a Graceling just like the two of them.

"It doesn't matter."

"You're right, he's perfect no matter what."

"Yes, yes he is."

"He'll need a name, love."

Katsa ponders on it. She suddenly remembers the Graceling woman she helped birth a little girl. The woman had named her daughter Katlynn, the "K" after Katsa's own name. Katsa thinks of Raffin, her beloved cousin, whom had helped her bring her son into this world. 

"Rowan."

"Rowan it is," Po agrees. He leans forward and kisses his son's forehead. Katsa can not contain the smile that spreads across her face.


	2. Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katsa visits Raffin. Takes place sometime after Katsa and Po agree to have a child together.

Katsa's horse came to a slow stop in the dark alcove of Randa's castle, the morning sun creeping in over the horizon.

"Not running your horse into the dirt as you normally do?"

Katsa had the hood of her cloak drawn up, she pulled it down in the front to better conceal her face. "Very funny." She climbed off her horse and Raffin threw his arms around her. She deepened the embrace, inhaling her cousin's perfumed scent. Her stomach lurched and she broke the embrace.

"Katsa, I truly have missed sneaking you into my father's castle these past months."

"Has it been that long?"

"Its been more than three months since you left the council meeting after taking the mission of smuggling Marisa out of Sunder." Raffin was referring to the Graced pregnant slave she had reunited with her husband in Monsea. The woman was far enough along in her pregnancy that the excitement caused her to go into labor with no one but Katsa to help with the delivery. 

"You're right. Time seems to be getting away from me lately."

"I'm fortunate that you have chosen to have you social visit with me. I can't imagine you get much of those these days." Katsa nodded and Raffin's hand fell to Katsa's lower back as he led her through the secret passageway to his rooms.

"I don't recall you smelling so badly the last time I saw you."

Raffin stopped for a moment, giving Katsa a quizzical look before moving on. Katsa missed nothing. 

"What was that for?"

Raffin shook his head. "I do not smell. Besides, these are the same perfumes I've always used."

Katsa snorted. "Are you sure Bann hasn't mislabeled bottles again? On purpose?" 

Raffin pulled away from her then and it took Katsa a moment to recall that Raffin and Bann had not been on speaking terms for some time. She placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. Its been a long trip."

Raffin brushed it off. "Its fine. I've had some food brought to my work rooms. Lets get you settled in and we can catch up while we eat." He continued ahead through the passageway ahead of Katsa. 

"I'm not quite hungry," she called from behind him, "but I wouldn't mind catching up." There was so much she had to tell Raffin, particularly how she and Po were planning on having a child together. 

When Katsa and Raffin made it to his rooms she finally shed her cloak. As she placed her bags down she became acutely aware of how sickened she was by the platters of food set upon Raffin's work tables. What's wrong with me, she thought. Katsa could go long amounts of time without food, but the idea of food or the smell of it had never put her off before as it had in that moment. 

Just then there was a knock on the door. Katsa quickly moved into the adjoining room that once secretly held Po's grandfather, Prince Tealiff. Raffin called to her when it was clear and he explained that his father had sent for him and he would be gone for some time. 

Katsa was left tinkering with some of the objects on Raffin's work tables, avoiding the platters of food at all costs. She had been attempting to read some of his scientific drabbles when she caught sight of a cot along the wall of the far side of the room. Many times that cot had been Bann's resting place. She briefly wondered if the two could reconcile what had come between them. The more Katsa pondered the cot, the more it allured her. She soon found herself fluffing the pillow before curling up on the mattress. 

Katsa opened her eyes to a curious Raffin standing over her. She wasn't entirely sure how long she'd slept. Was she wiping drool from her mouth? Since when did she drool? Katsa shook her head, attempting to clear her drowsiness. However she couldn't shake Raffin's intense blue eyes starring at her.

"Alright! Out with it. What's going on with you?" he demanded.

Katsa sat up. "What do you mean?"

Raffin's hands were on his hips. "First, you ride your horse at a reasonable speed for once in your life. Second, you tell me that I smell. Third, you're not hungry and I can see that the thought of food disgusts you. And now I find you asleep."

"I do get tired, you know. It might not be as often as you but I've been traveling so much it seems to be catching up with me." 

"Are you intentionally ignoring everything else I've said?" Raffin bent down to Katsa, causing his perfume to find its way into Katsa's nose. Her stomach lurched and she couldn't help but having to cover her mouth before the contents of her stomach threatened to come out. Raffin stood up straight again. "You have been taking your seabane, haven't you?"

Suddenly Katsa's eyes appeared to be bulging out of her head as a thought occurred to her. Her hand slipped from her mouth and she began counting on her fingers. She paused then stood up so quickly resulting in her stomach heaving. She had only enough sense in that moment to make it across the room as her previous meal came up.

Katsa could feel the coolness of Raffin's hand as it came to rest on her shoulder. "I have something for the nausea."

"It wont make my hair blue, will it?"

Raffin chuckled. "No, no it wont."

Katsa held the warm mug in her hands. The tea Raffin had given her had truly helped calm her stomach. Raffin was sitting across from her with a smile on his face. 

"Are you going to tell me or leave me to my own imagination?"

Katsa took another sip from the mug. "Its not unplanned if that's what you mean." Raffin's blond eyebrows shot up. "I decided to on the ship from Monsea to Lienid. Po and I talked about it the night I returned. I suppose I'm just surprised with how fast it happened."

"With six other brothers and all the nieces and nephews running around I'm not surprised that a strong seed runs in the family." Katsa snorted, almost spilling her tea in the process. "I am happy for you though, both of you. I just wish you could have come to this before I got married."

Katsa put down her mug. "Raffin."

"I would have made you my heir."

Raffin had recently married a lady when King Randa had become ill. It had seemed certain that Randa's condition was continuing to worsen and would not live much longer. In hindsight, Raffin had panicked. He never had much interest in being King and when reality had struck, he had become obsessed with getting certain affairs in order; including finding a bride that would be his Queen and continuing his royal line. 

Katsa had entertained the idea that Randa had done this on purpose somehow to finally wed his son to a woman. Not weeks after the wedding Randa had made a full recovery. Sure enough Bann had left to the Dells to learn some of their medical advances, no doubt a preferable outcome for Randa. 

Katsa shook her head. "You couldn't. And you know I'd never make a good Queen."

Raffin sank back in his chair. "You're right, the kingdoms would be at war within hours." Katsa threw her pillow at Raffin. He caught it, resting it on his lap, he sighed. "I'm sure you'll want to send word to Lienid."

Katsa nodded. Po should know. "And what of your wife?"

"Larissa is about four moons pregnant."

Katsa stood up, ignoring the protest of her stomach and wrapped her arms around Raffin. Things were certainly different for the both of them.


	3. Wedding Bells Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Po and Katsa arrive at Bitterblue Castle for a wedding.

Katsa slid into Po's arms as he guided her from her horse. When her feet touched the ground it seemed Po was reluctant to let her go. One of his hands slid from her hips to rest on the small bump of Katsa's belly. She was still small enough to be easily hidden by one of Po's riding shirts.

She rested her hand over Po's. "If you keep doing this, the whole castle will know."

For a man who's grace enabled him to sense the presence of others, he often acted like they were the only two in the world, despite being surrounded by dozens of people in the courtyard of Bitterblue Castle. Po chuckled, dropping his hand just in time as a stable boy arrived to retrieve their horses. A squire was not far behind, offering to show them to their rooms. 

Helda was waiting for them in their sitting room. She approached Katsa with open arms. Katsa had just wrapped her arms around the woman who was the closest to a mother she'd known when Helda pulled away. Holding Katsa at arms length, she eyed her up and down. She looked around Katsa to Po.

"It's about time." Po's smile stretched from ear to ear.

Helda resumed pulling Katsa into an embrace, Katsa hugging the old woman tightly in return. After Helda properly greeted Po, she uttered something about Katsa's appetite and took off, leaving Katsa and Po alone. 

Po stepped over to Katsa, taking her into his arms he pressed his lips to hers. In turn Katsa's arms reached up, her fingers finding his hair. But they would not remain alone for long. Moments later there was a knock at the door. Po growled followed by Katsa's giggle.

"We knew once we stepped into the city we'd be hard pressed to find time alone."

Po bent down, placing a kiss on Katsa's belly. "We'll continue this later," he said to Katsa before standing up and turning to the door. "I thought the groom would be too busy to find time for old friends." Katsa righted her tunic.

The door opened and Giddon stepped through. "Someone has to make sure the two of you aren't so engrossed with each other that you forget to show up to dinner." The two men grasped forearms in greeting.

"Giddon." Katsa held no hard feelings but she didn't want him too close so that he'd notice and spoil the surprise. Po had warned Katsa about Giddon and Bitterblue's agreement to tell the truth, therefore she couldn't trust him to keep the secret. 

"Katsa," Giddon nodded. "Where's Raffin? He's yet to be announced."

"We left them at the tunnel."

"Katsa found the speed of his procession atrocious." Po joked.

"They'll be here in time for the wedding, I hope?"

Po nodded. "They should be here before nightfall."

"Good. I shall make sure their rooms are ready." Giddon turned to go but stopped short, looking at Katsa. "The Lady Queen would like to see both of you in private before dinner."

"Of course," said Katsa. She longed to tell Bitterblue the news. Giddon smiled and then left the room.

Katsa and Po encountered Helda again in Bitterblue's rooms. The woman was nearly knocked over as Bitterblue appeared from behind closed doors, running the way to Katsa. She held the Lady Queen close, but mindful to keep her torso away. 

"I've missed you so much," declared Bitterblue. 

"I feel as if I've just seen you." Katsa released Bitterblue. 

"These last few months seemed to have passed so quickly."

"You have no idea," said Katsa. Her eyes slid over to Po. 

Bitterblue then turned to her cousin. He wrapped his arms around her, lifting her off her feet. Bitterblue nestled her face in his neck taking in his scent of the wilderness. Her heart ached slightly. "Blue," Po whispered. He carefully let her down, mindful of her gown, Bitterblue eased away.

I have so much to tell you, Bitterblue thought to Po.

Po responded out loud. "Can't say we were surprised to hear about the wedding." Bitterblue's cheeks turned a slight pink. "We have some news of our own we'd like to share."

"I can't wait! Let's go to my sitting room."

Bitterblue led the way. Once they were seated Helda had produced a pot of tea. She couldn't keep her eyes off Katsa. When Bitterblue wasn't looking, Katsa stuck her tongue out at the woman. Helda stomped away with a smile on her face. Bitterblue eyed Katsa wearily at the exchange, but the Lady Queen turned back to Po.

"Were you truly not surprised about Giddon and me?"

"It doesn't take a grace to see when a man has feelings for a woman."

"Well it certainly does help when you have a grace that lets you know people's intentions. It seems I was the last to know."

"It was the same when Giddon had feelings for- Ouch!" Katsa had stepped on Po's foot.

 _Why would you bring that up now?_ She thought into Po's mind.

Po recovered quickly enough. However, Katsa did not miss the quizzical look on Bitterblue's face during their exchange. Katsa shifted in her seat so that she could more easily reach the Queen. Bitterblue gave her hand to Katsa.

Katsa's thumb slid over the back of Bitterblue's hand. "Now for our surprise." Katsa looked over to Po. He straightened in his chair, a sheepish grin developing on his face. "We want this in no way to overshadow your day. The timing is merely coincidental." 

Bitterblue began pulling her hand away. "The two of you aren't leaving on a mission, are you? You've only just gotten here and the wedding is not until tomorrow. Besides, I haven't heard of any recent Council meetings."

"No Bitterblue, no!"

"Someone hasn't died, have they? There's been no news from Lienid, and Fire hasn't mentioned anything about the Dell's either, so it couldn't be Saf-"

Suddenly Po had appeared by his cousin's side, his arms wrapped around her shoulders as his sat on the arm of her chair. "Blue calm down! No one's died that we know of." 

"Then what is it?"

"I'm sorry that I'm so bad at this. I'll just blurt it out then. Po and I are having a baby."

The queen nearly fell from her chair. When she righted herself her eyes looked enormous. She seemed to study Katsa. "You speak the truth. This isn't some sort of jest, is it?"

Katsa nodded and once again reached for Bitterblue's hand. Her eyes seemed even wider with understanding as she felt Katsa's small but rounded belly that was hidden from plain sight beneath her shirt. 

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"We wanted to wait. Until today only Raffin has known. And we wanted to tell you in person." 

Bitterblue sank back into her chair. "First Raffin and now you. I'm only just getting married tomorrow. But I suppose children can't be far down the line."

Po chuckled. "No need to rush, dear cousin." 

Bitterblue's hand rubbed over her face. "Babies."

"You look like Po when I told him."

* * *

They had just made it back to their chambers when a young steward arrived to announce dinner. Upon entering the hall, Po whispered into Katsa's ear. She followed his directions and her eyes immediately settled on Bann. Their friend stood to greet them.

Bann took Katsa's hand in his, brought it to his lips and planted a kiss on the back of it. She smiled in return. "Bann, its been too long."

"Well you're in good humor." He looked to Po. "Should I be worried? Usually this means she wants one of us to go on some ridiculous mission that one way or another results in saking a king. I rather like King Nash."

"You take that back. If I'm in 'good humor' as you call it, it's because of Bitterblue's wedding." She punched Bann's arm for good measure.

As Bann rubbed his newly sore arm Po greeted him. "How are the Dells?" He slightly winced in pain as he shook Po's hand.

"The Dells and the Dellian people are well. I would never have learned as much as I have had I not gone there as I did. I have much to teach the seven kingdoms but there's still so much I've yet to learn."

"I'm glad you were able to make it for the wedding."

"I wouldn't miss the look on Saf's face when he realizes that Giddon will be his king."

"Is Saf here?" asked Katsa.

"Oh he's around alright," said Po. 

"Does Bitterblue know?"

"From what I can tell, he hasn't made himself known."

"And I'm not sure he will," said Bann. "It took a lot of convincing to get him to come in the first place."

The conversation was interrupted by the announcement of the arrival of Prince Raffin accompanied by his wife, Princess Larissa. Katsa was acutely aware as Bann's features hardened at the sight of Raffin and his noticeably pregnant wife. 

"I should take my seat," said Bann through clenched teeth. "The queen won't be too far behind."

Conscious of the recent tensions between Bann and his Prince, Katsa and Po released their friend without another word. The timing had been just right for not a moment later they heard Raffin's voice behind them. Katsa turned and Raffin greeted her with a hug and a kiss on her cheek. Beside her cousin stood Larissa in a blue gown, King Randa's family color. She was fair skinned; growing up the daughter of a Lord, she led a rather pampered life. She was blonde, her hair not as light as Raffin's but more honey in color. As she was not graced, she had a pair of matching brown eyes. Larissa greeted her with a curtsy. Katsa hated curtsies but as Larissa was now her good-cousin, she did so without complaint.

The four of them quickly found their seats with Po on one side of Katsa and Raffin on the other. When the queen arrived everyone stood. Raffin took the opportunity to lean to Katsa's ear. "I wasn't told that Bann would be here. I would have asked not to be announced."

Katsa could see that in light of Raffin's current situation that he harbored mixed feelings when it came to Bann. Raffin had been deeply hurt when Bann up and left the seven kingdoms for the Dells but even now despite himself, he did not want to hurt Bann by parading his pregnant wife around. Katsa's heart broke just knowing the pain it caused both of them. But before she could offer any consolation, everyone in the hall was seated. Raffin returned his attentions to his wife. 

"So Raffin, you were able to make it to dinner after all," goaded Po.

"Po assured me that for once Katsa wasn't riding her horse to ruin and they still managed to make it by midday," Giddon chimed before taking a sip from his goblet. He sat on the other side of Bitterblue whom sat next to Po. 

"I was only concerned for the safety of my wife and our unborn child." Katsa noted that he spoke only loud enough for them to hear, no doubt conscious of Bann seated at the next table. 

"I don't think we would have made it any earlier even if I were in Katsa's condition and riding sidesaddle," added Larissa.

Giddon's goblet made a noticeable thud on the table. "Katsa? What condition do you mean?" His eyebrows drew together.

Raffin quickly murmured in Larissa's ear. She kept quiet after that.

Sure enough the queen was filling Giddon in as she whispered into his ear at that moment. Katsa remained focused on her plate. She had hoped Bitterblue would have told him in private and spare her his reaction. He'd once assured her that one day she would want children. She hadn't believed him then. It seemed like a lifetime ago. Po's hand found her's under the table. She looked over to Po and he leaned in to place a kiss on her cheek. She forced a smile before Po's lips found her ear.

"She's yet to tell him, love." Relief washed over her.

The conversation in the dining hall broke off for the remainder of the meal. Katsa spent the rest of dinner conversing with Po, Raffin, and Larissa. She longed to speak more with Bitterblue but preferred to wait until they were once again in private. Katsa didn't usually care for embarrassment, however due to her past with Giddon, she didn't think it would sit well to become aware of the woman that had previously rejected him was now carrying the child of one of his good friends. Not to mention on the night before he married a queen. Thankfully, Katsa thought, he was busy enough with the pre-wedding celebrations to be concerned with her. 

Katsa ate until she was sated, and when she was finished she became aware of how fatigued she felt. She could never get used to being fatigued, in the past her grace hadn't allowed it to be possible. As she nourished a life inside herself, however, it proved too much for her grace to handle and she was occasionally overcome by bouts of fatigue. 

Katsa leaned her head upon Po's shoulder. She felt his lips kiss the top of her head. "Tired?" he whispered. Katsa nodded. "Dinner is almost through, and then we can return to our room and get back to where we left-" Po stopped mid-sentence. 

Katsa sat up straight and regarded him. "What is it Po?"

He was looking ahead unmoving; his eyes unfocused. Katsa knew him to be concentrated on whatever it was his grace allowed him to be privy. When he finally turned back to her, his unseeing eyes were soft. He leaned in close to her ear. "There'll be a meeting tonight. Bitterblue has asked me to round up the Council." 

Katsa looked beyond Po to see Bitterblue. She was listening to a young man, whom Katsa presumed to be a messenger. "Po, what's happened?"

"I don't know much, only what she's told me. I only know its not good news."

* * *

Katsa and Po were the second to arrive to the meeting being held in one of Bitterblue's many rooms. Bann was already seated. They quickly occupied adjacent chairs. Raffin entered next, unaccompanied by his wife. Moments later the room began to fill up. Last to enter were Giddon and Bitterblue. Giddon helped Bitterblue into her chair but remained standing himself.

"We'll try to get this done as quickly as possible so that everyone can get to bed and rest before the wedding tomorrow." Giddon turned to Bitterblue. "Lady Queen." He took his seat next the the queen, across from Katsa and Po. His eyes rolled over Katsa for a few moments before moving on to Po and back.

Katsa's hand found Po's thigh under the table. _I think she's told him_ , she thought to Po's mind. Po's hand rested on hers. Their attention was diverted to the queen as she stood, her hands smoothing out her dress.

"It is well enough that we're all here at this time. I've received word during dinner from my ambassadors in Nander that King Drowden has passed." There were murmurs around the room. "Prince Dax will be crowned in the coming weeks. However my ambassadors know little about Prince Dax since he has spent many years away from court as commander of Drowden's armies. As you all know Drowden's queen died several years ago because of a young graced boy and since then Drowden began enslaving graced peoples in his kingdom. It is not clear if Prince Dax will continue this treatment when he takes the throne, but I fear that if that is his intent that there will be a revolt worse than Estill's. It is in the best interest of everyone in the seven kingdoms that we avoid such bloodshed and by doing so determine what Dax's angle as king will be. I open the matter for discussion." The queen took her seat. 

It was Raffin who spoke first. "As Nander is my father's neighbor by northern boarder I regret that although I remain an active founding member of this council due to my wife's present condition I cannot take part in any endeavor that would suggest the removal of Prince Dax from his throne or to sympathize with his highness against his subjects."

Bitterblue nodded. "I understand, Prince Raffin. I would never place your father's kingdom, your future kingdom, nor his subjects in a position of such danger."

"Thank you, Lady Queen."

"As most of us here in one way or another represent one of the other five kingdoms it stands that this mission should remain covert," said Giddon. 

"Such a mission would require someone of experience and capable talents of observation."

"Is there someone you have in mind, Po?" prompted the Lady Queen.

"As many of you know I'm familiar with how delicate such a situation could be, having experienced the upheaval of Estill with Lord Giddon as well as the period of your succession, Lady Queen."

"I regret that I cannot make the journey, having new responsibilities come tomorrow," said Giddon. "However, I do agree on the fragility of this mission as Estill had been. Without proper care we could end up with a war within the kingdoms or a revolution. A matter such as this could prove dangerous to all parties. In effort to remain covert those tasked with this mission must fulfill certain qualifications."

"How soon do we leave?" Katsa felt Po's grip hard on her thigh.

"Katsa, I did not mean to suggest that you take on the mission yourself. You've only just taken your leave from your most recent stint of missions."

"I've known my fair share of kings and their subjects. You said it yourself that this mission requires experienced and capable persons. Po and I are more than qualified."

"No one denies your qualifications," put in Raffin. 

"I don't see anyone volunteering."

"I'll go." Heads quickly turned to Bann, sitting forgotten on the far side of the table.

"With all due respect Bann, I do not think you fit the needs of this mission," interjected Raffin.

Bann did not so much as look at Raffin. "My capabilities exceed beyond medicine; I'm very capable of handling a variety of weapons. Besides I've meant to return from the Dells and I can take what I've learned there and apply it to this current situation."

"That settles it. The three of us are more than suited." Although Katsa had spoken, many pairs of eyes landed on Po.

"Bann and I can leave as soon as the day after tomorrow." There was a loud smack as Katsa's chair hit the floor. She made no other sound as she fled the room. There was a moment of further silence until Po himself stood and addressed the room. "Lady Queen. Members of the Council. Excuse me." Like that Po too had left the room.

He found her in their bedchamber. her only escape in Bitterblue's castle. Had they been on the road, she would have gotten as far as she could, within reason. Po approached her slowly. She faced the window, her back to him. He could just hear her sobs, undoubtedly reminding him of another time, the first time he made her cry, when she learned the truth of his grace. Her mind was shielded from him.

"Love, I do not mean to hurt you."

"You embarrassed me."

"And for that I apologize. It's not that I don't think you capable, it's just- well, it's not just you and me anymore." His arms carefully wound around her, his hands gently resting on her belly. "It is one thing to risk your own safety but while you carry our child in your belly, you're risking his or her life as well."

Katsa's own hands came to rest on her belly. "It's hard Po. I have the power to help people but I feel completely useless."

"You're not useless." With that he nuzzled his face into her neck, kissing and nipping at her sensitive skin. He felt her smile in his mind.

"I don't forgive you yet." Contradictory to her words she turned around to face him. "Damn these pregnancy hormones."

His hands were soon enough cupping her face. "What can I do to pursued you?" Many images flowed into Po's mind. He chuckled. "I think I can manage all that."

"Good. Thanks to your big mouth we only have until the morning after tomorrow."

"I suppose I should get started then."


	4. Wedding Bells Part II

"What about this one?" Helda prompted. It became increasingly tedious for the old woman to capture Katsa's attention as the morning pressed on. "Red looks lovely on you," she continued. 

Katsa reluctantly turned around. "You might as well paint a large target on my belly."

Exasperated, Helda handed the red gown to one of the many servants and traded the young girl for another. "How about this blue one, then?"

Katsa turned her back on Helda in disgust, preferring to tinker with knives over the concerns of her wardrobe. "You know how I feel about blue." The color reminded her too much of her times in The Middluns representing a member of Randa's family. She'd forgone wearing any shade of blue. 

"Katsa dear, you aren't making this any easy for me."

"Have I ever?"

Helda's hands fell empty to her sides in defeat. "No, you haven't. But we've been through eight gowns already. There must be one that you'll agree to wear."

"You know how I feel about dresses."

"Like I've forgotten. This isn't about you. This is the Queen's wedding, I won't let you ruin it by wearing trousers."

"Bitterblue won't care what I'm wearing."

"That's true, she won't. However, sometimes you have to do something you don't like. You're going to have to do many things you don't like soon enough. Perhaps once your child is born you will see what I mean."

"I don't see how wearing or not wearing a dress has to do with my child."

With that Helda stormed from the room, leaving the other servants as well as Katsa perplexed. Katsa called out for her but the old woman did not return. Soon enough she sent the other servants away, they abandoned the gowns in fear of the pregnant Lady's wrath. Katsa, however, remained quiet. She found herself standing in front of the large mirror in her dressing room. She looked at herself, really looked. Her fingers ran through her hair, which she'd stopped cutting since the news of her pregnany with no reason other than she couldn't be bothered to care. Her hair now reached her shoulders and she found herself not minding it so much as she used to. Her eyes slid down. She was covered in a rather large tunic, one of Po's old ones that she'd grown fond of. It smelled like him and she couldn't help but admire the holes worn in the fabric from his abuse during long travels. She wore it most of all because it hid her shape. Katsa wasn't sure why she kept herself hidden since mostly everyone worth knowing knew, she just didn't particularly care about flaunting herself around. This baby was her's and Po's. She pulled at the hem of the tunic to expose the flesh of her rounded belly. Her hands smoothed over her skin, she was much more round than when she recalled seeing her reflection last. Where was the time going? Her child, Po's child, was growing healthily inside her. It amazed her even that she, Katsa graced with killing, no, she reminded herself, graced with survival, was able to create this life. She wondered what Helda had meant that she would understand once the child was born. 

A knock at the door brought Katsa from her thoughts and she released her tunic, once more hiding her belly. Without a word the door opened and entered Bitterblue, immediately Katsa turned to receive the Queen. 

"Bitterblue, what is it? Shouldn't you be getting ready?"

"I was wondering if you knew anything about what's got Helda in such a mood. She came into my rooms and began shooing away all my servants. Then she proceeded to tackle my hair and my makeup at the same time." Katsa regarded Bitterblue's hair was in a mess of braids and her face devoid of any color. "I don't recall ever seeing her this furious since the last time you and Po were here and she was arguing with you about babies."

Katsa scoffed and shook her head. "It seems one way or another its always about babies."

"I don't understand, you and Po are having a baby."

"I'm not sure I understand either." Katsa took in the Queen's disheveled appearance one more time. "Would you like to sit?"

Bitterblue nodded and plopped onto the sofa. Bitterblue eyed the gowns piled on the adjacent chair but said nothing. 

"Would you care if I didn't wear a gown today?"

Bitterblue turned to Katsa. "Of course not. If I could I wouldn't wear one either." She sighed. "However, there are standards and traditions I must live up to whether I like it or not."

"I don't care what people think of me."

"Its not that I do, but I do care about what others think of me as Queen. I have a reputation to uphold. And as much as I'd like to be a woman of twenty years making bread or working at a printing press or listening to storytellers and wearing boy's clothes, as Queen it just isn't done. People are willing to accept an array of peculiarities but only so much. There are so many things I do, not because I want to but because I must."

"Curse that old woman and her propriety."

"I take it you'll be wearing a gown, then."

Katsa laughed and placed her hand on her belly. "Helda seems to always get her way." Bitterblue mad no reply. Instead her eyes were focused on Katsa's hand. "You didn't come here just to talk about Helda, did you Bitterblue?"

The young Queen's eyes rose slowly to meet Katsa's. There were tears forming. "I love Giddon, I do."

Katsa moved closer and wrapped her arms around Bitterblue's shoulders. "Dear Bitterblue, no one's questioning that."

"I don't know if I can make him happy, Katsa. He's lost so much; his family, his home, his title, his reputation. As much as I've tried to give those things back, I don't think it will be enough."

"Bitterblue, he loves you. It's true that he had lost those things but now he has something he did not have before. You."

"But what if I can't give him what he needs? What if I can't give him all of myself? I have so many duties and responsibilities. What if I'm spread so thin that there isn't much left for him?"

"It's nothing new. Giddon is aware of all of this. If he loves you as I believe he does then he'll take whatever he can get and he'll share your burdens, he wouldn't let you carry it on your own."

A tear fell from Bitterblue's cheek. "Helda will be angry if I spoil my face." Katsa attempted to wipe the tear stain from her face. "I'm such a mess Katsa."

"You're not, trust me. I was in worse shape when I came to terms with my own feelings for Po."

"Yet you never married him."

"I have my own reasons for that as you know. But that has always been an understanding between Po and I. Neither of us has to run a kingdom or in your case a queendom."

"Because you're too busy overthrowing them."

Katsa laughed. "That is precisely why Po was born Ror's seventh son and I Randa's niece."

"Thank you Katsa. I needed this." Katsa tightened her hold around Bitterblue and pulled her into an embrace. 

Bitterblue disappeared soon after, returning to her rooms. Katsa was not alone long. The door opened and Helda entered. The two stubborn women said their peace and Katsa consented to wearing a dress. 

"I have one request."

"And that is?" Helda was shaking her head as she examined the wrinkled gowns draped over the chair.

"Can you find one that matches one of Po's eyes? Silver perhaps?"

A smile formed on Helda's face. "I think that can be arranged. Silver will bring out your eyes."

* * *

"You can come in now." Helda opened the door and Po stepped into the room. No doubt he had begun to worry. It had been many hours since Helda had demanded he leave the room in the first place as she dared to dress Katsa that morning. 

He waited until Helda had gone before he spoke. "Well? Are you going to continue to hide when you know very well I can't see?" Katsa's thoughts came into Po's mind. She reminded him about her distaste for dresses and earrings. He chuckled. Times like these he truly missed his sight. It had been years since he'd seen Katsa in a dress. The memory of their encounter in the archery range and Randa's castle came to the the forefront of his mind; Katsa in a red dress, hair wild and barefoot, such untamed beauty, forever ingrained into his mind. 

When Katsa finally stepped from the dressing screen and came to stand in front of Po, he slowly reached out his hand and brushed the silky fabric. Katsa sent the image of herself blushing to his mind. His smile was tender. How his heart ached at wishing her could see her. Suddenly an idea sprang into his head. 

"Can we try something?"

Katsa responded by taking his hand, bringing it up to her mouth and placing a kiss on his palm.

"Stand by the mirror." She did as he said, staring into the tall, full-length mirror. "Now look at your reflection and show me what you see."

Katsa took her own image in. "My dress is-"

"No. Show me, in my mind."

Katsa regarded herself, taking in all the details and relaying back to Po's mind. Her hair was the natural curly he remembered, bits of it pinned back; in her ears dangled silver earrings. His eyes, through Katsa's, continued down her neck to her collar bone, a place he often kissed whilst they were intimate. Next he took in her breasts, modestly covered, however, showing enough to hint at her femininity. The silver color of her gown reminded him of his own silver eye and he couldn't help but smile at the thought that the choice of color had been deliberate. Beneath the fold of the fabric he saw the contour of her growing belly and the sight brought tears to Po's eyes. Never before had he seen Katsa's pregnant belly, though he touched it countless times, the sight of his unborn baby in Katsa's stomach brought overwhelming feelings. Katsa's own eyes slid up to look at Po's reflection and her heart softened. 

"You're beautiful," he said.

Katsa thought to turn, to comfort Po. "No, stay just like that."

Katsa's eyes were back on her belly and Po came to stand closer, his arms wrapping around her. They spent quite a long time, few words passing between them. It was some time before a steward arrived to announce that the wedding ceremony would soon begin.

The graced couple was intercepted in the hall just outside their rooms when a young man approached, bowing, and wearing the uniform that signified him as one of the Queen's personal attendants. 

"Lord Prince. Lady Katsa. The Lady Queen requests both of your presence in her chambers before the ceremony is to begin."

"Of course," said Po.

The attendant led the way to the Queen's chambers. All of the Queen's maids and attendants had gone, even Helda. The guards posted at her doors were all that remained. At the sight of Katsa and Po, the guards simultaneously opened the double doors leading to the Queen's chambers. They had barely stepped inside when Katsa caught sight of Bitterblue. She wore a purple gown, tight around her midsection, billowing out beyond her hips followed by a long and elaborate train. Her hair was partially pulled into a braid, wrapping around her head from behind one ear to the other, sitting just before her crown. The rest of her hair hang in loose curls.

Katsa placed her hand upon her chest. "Bitterblue, you look-"

"Exquisite," finished Po. Katsa had relayed what she saw as she saw it to Po, as they had so previously practiced. "Blue, you look exquisite. I wish I could see the look on Giddon's face when he turns bright red at the sight of you."

Bitterblue herself blushed, but not before she eyed both Po and Katsa strangely. 

"We'll explain later," added Katsa as she jabbed Po in the ribs.

Bitterblue's eyes rested on Katsa. "You look beautiful. Thank you."

Katsa's smile was tender. "Anything for you, you know that." Katsa turned to Po, tilted up slightly and placed a kiss on his cheek. "I should find my seat." She turned and left the room without anything word.

Po moved next to Bitterblue, offering his arm. Bitterblue linked elbows with him, but stood unmoving. "Po, can you-"

"I'm still blind, Blue."

"Then what did you mean by your comment?"

"It's something Katsa and I have just discovered. My grace allowed her to lend me her eyes, so to speak."

Bitterblue's brow furrowed. "So you were able to see through Katsa's eyes?"

Po stepped forward and the two of them made there way to the doors. "In a manner of speaking, yes. It takes quite a lot of concentration on both our parts."

"This changes things."

Po stopped short and turned to Bitterblue. "I've lived ten years without sight. Although in many ways my grace has grown to accommodate for that, I won't lie and say there haven't been moments in which I don't miss being able to see. I've lived ten years without seeing the color of the trees and plants in Lienid change during the seasons, looking into Katsa's eyes, seeing her ridiculous expressions, and even how much you've grown from the ten year old girl I met to the twenty year old woman standing next to me. If this new aspect of my grace can help me get back any of what I lost all those years ago then I am glad for it. But I will always trust my other instincts first."

Bitterblue placed her hand of Po's cheek. "If there was any way to get back what my father stole from you, you know I wouldn't hesitate to do that."

"None of that." Po wiped a tear from the crease of her eye. Bitterblue's hand fell from his face. "Today is your wedding, let it be a joyful day." She nodded, wiping away any remnants of tears from her face. "Shall we go face Giddon?" 

Bitterblue smiled. "Yes, I'm ready." 

Walking once more, Bitterblue thanked the guards as they opened the doors. She leaned her head against Po's arm. "Thank you, Po, for doing this for me." She was referring to Po escorting her on her wedding day. Normally, since both her parents died it was her uncle's place to escort her to meet her husband. However, during King Ror's journey to Monsea he returned home to Lienid when he received word that his eleventh grandchild was born. In his stead he sent forth a letter of apology to his dear niece. Although Bitterblue adored and owed her uncle a great deal, she much preferred her cousin's company and she entered the great hall.

* * *

A great feast took place in Bitterblue Castle in celebration of the Queen's wedding. Many were in attendance, taking part in feasting, drinking, and dancing. Even Kasta danced with Po. She was initially resigned against it, however changed her mind in light of Po leaving the following morning on a council mission. She wanted to spend as much time with him as she could. Since when had she clung to Po so? She stopped herself at the thought. Deciding it was a quirk of her pregnancy, Katsa continued to take part in the merriment of Bitterblue's wedding celebration. 

The next dance was about to begin when suddenly she and Bitterblue had switched partners, leaving Katsa face-to-face with Giddon. For a moment they were both frozen. Katsa observed as Giddon's eyes swept over her body, taking it in. She was preparing an excuse when Giddon jolted into movement, easily falling into step with the dance. Katsa's mind was racing but her body did not betray her as she kept up with Giddon.

She had just concluded that he would not speak a word to her when his lips parted with an audible sound. Here it comes, she braced herself. 

"We don't have to continue this if you don't want to. I recall well enough how much you detest dancing."

Katsa's mood softened a bit at Giddon's concern. "I'm alright, thank you. Its not often I find myself at a wedding. I spent most of Raffin's hiding in the shadows so I suppose I'm making up for it now."

"I'd like to thank you for being there for Bitterblue, it makes her happy. She admires you more than you know. You mean so much to her, Katsa." He said her name with longing, where before his tone had been indifferent, almost withdrawn. 

"Just being around Bitterblue makes me happy. I wouldn't have missed it for anything. And you make her happy, too. She's lucky to have you."

Giddon's eyes slid over Katsa's body again. "Po's a lucky man." He shook his head. "I wonder- You don't have to answer this, Katsa, how did this pregnancy come about if you don't mind me asking?"

At first Katsa had decided against answering, She owed Giddon nothing in that respect. However, it had been Giddon that said one day that she'd want children. She smiled shyly. "In a way you were right. I've come to terms with what you said all those years ago. But it was not my decision alone, although Po was nothing if not agreeable."

Giddon half smiled. "You look lovely, Katsa. You truly do."

"Thank you, Giddon." The dance would soon be over and for a few moments as they spun around the room they enjoyed silence. As Katsa recalled, Giddon could never stay silent for long. 

"You still won't marry him?" It wasn't so much a question as it was a statement.

"No," she confirmed.

"Are you against marriage?"

Katsa looked over Giddon's shoulder and found Po spinning Bitterblue around. Her eyes found Giddon's again. "I'm not, honestly. I don't find anything against others who've chosen to marry but it just isn't for me."

"The two of you have been together so long that you practically are married. What of your child? It will be born a bastard. I mean not offense Katsa, I just wonder..."

"I've thought of all these things with Po. There is a chance that King Ror won't acknowledge the baby as a legitimate grandchild but that will not stop Po and I from loving him or her unconditionally. As for marrying or not marrying Po, its true that we've been together a long time. I don't see myself ever being with anyone else and there are instances in which I am treated as if I am Po's wife, particularly at Po's castle, but I understand how much things would change if we were to make it binding. I'm happy with the way my life is. Its a life I've chosen. I will be with Po for as long as he'll have me."

"And I will love her long after she won't."

Katsa hadn't realized the music stopped. Po and Bitterblue had come to stand next to them. At the sound of Po's voice, Giddon relinquished Katsa and she took her place next to the Lienid Prince's side, his arm wrapping around her. Giddon's own hand reached for his new bride, in which Bitterblue took eagerly. 

"As I said before, Po's a lucky man." Po smiled in response to Giddon and held Katsa a little tighter.

Katsa's hand came to rest lovingly on her belly. Bitterblue looked up at Giddon. "Don't get any ideas." The four of them shared a laugh. Katsa would look back on this memory fondly.

* * *

Katsa would never admit, not even to Po how reprieved she felt to be off her feet and sitting comfortably among the others at the dais. There was no stopping Po as he lured Helda onto her feet to join in dancing. Kasta laughed as the old woman spouted several profanities before relenting at the Queen's order. Sometimes being Queen had its advantages, Katsa thought.

She soon lost sight of them in the tangle of bodies and was further distracted by the sound of her cousin Raffin's voice. He sat next to his very pregnant wife, Larissa; his hand delicately rested on her enormous belly.

"I can feel it. It's amazing."

"He hasn't stopped kicking since the feast started. I think he rather likes the music."

"He? What makes you think its a he? We could just as well be having a girl."

"I can feel it. I will give you a proper heir, my love."

Katsa rolled her eyes. She found herself looking at Bann, sitting at the other end of the table only a seat away from her. She knew that if she could hear Raffin's conversation there was little chance Bann couldn't. Bann however, kept himself in check. If Raffin's presence had an ill effect on him, he didn't show it. He merely sat there staring ahead while nursing a cup of mead.

She heard shuffling on her other side and quickly found that Raffin and Larissa were taking their leave. Perhaps Raffin had been conscious of Bann, she thought. When they had gone, Katsa stood up but only to take the seat closer to Bann. He felt her presence and turned. 

"Katsa. You look lovely, you do. Pregnancy becomes you." She wasn't sure if it was the mead but Bann's temperament had significantly changed since the day before.

She rested her hand on Bann's arm. "Thank you. Your kindness has truly been missed."

Bann nodded and raised his mug to his lips, taking a big gulp before returning it to the table.

"If it helps at all, he's not happy either."

"He has an interesting way of showing it."

"That's the thing Bann, it's more of a show for her and his father."

"I know that but that doesn't make it any less than what it is."

"Beating yourself up isn't."

Bann regarded the cup of mead in his hand. He withdrew, his hands both landing in his lap. "No, but it helps to forget."

"Did going to the Dell's help to forget?"

"Yes and no." He glanced at Katsa. "It was a temporary fix."

Katsa knew to tread carefully but at the same time she couldn't bare to see two men she cared about at such ends with one another. "Have you tried talking with him?"

"I've done all that and I left."

"But not since you've come back."

"Only one thing has changed. When I left she wasn't pregnant and now I've returned to find that she is." He said _she_ with such disdain.

"I'm not trying to make excuses for Raffin's actions but you're both hurting here. Maybe there's a way the two of you can come to some sort of compromise." 

Bann turned to Katsa and placed his hand over her's on his arm. "I appreciate what you're trying to do Kat, but there is no compromise. He's King Randa's son, I was stupid for thinking things would ever be other than what they are."

"You're not stupid Bann. The only other person that can make you feel better is him. Consider that."

"I will." He lifted Katsa's hand to his lips and kissed it.


	5. Tender

Katsa felt the delicate touch of fingers trailing on her skin. Normally she would have swatted Po's hand away but she quickly remembered that this would be her last morning with Po for several weeks. She kept her eyes shut and pretended to still be asleep. Po's fingers glided over her collar bone, down her chest, slowing through the valley between her breasts. As he continued down, his fingers made swirl patterns around her rounded bump. Katsa couldn't take it any longer and caught his hand, her eyes popping open as she did so.

The sight of Po's smile prevented her from spurting out a remark about waking her. Instead she brought Po's hand to rest flat on her belly. He leaned over to give her belly a kiss.

"I'm going to miss this. I'm going to miss both of you."

"No one said you had to go." Katsa couldn't hide the displeasure from her voice. When Po said nothing she spoke again, more tenderly. "Try not to stay away too long. I need you." And that was the truth. Since becoming aware of her pregnancy Katsa's body had already gone through several changes. Po was always there to help her. He took good care of her and put up with her when she knew she was insufferable. This wasn't something she wanted to do alone either. 

"You know I'd rather be here with you. We can't all sit on our arses, some of us have to continue council work."

"I wish so much that I could go." Before Po could retort, Katsa continued, "I know, I know. I am thinking about the baby and that's precisely why I didn't put up too much of a fight."

"I'll be back as soon as it's done." He kissed Katsa's belly. Talking to the baby he said, "Don't start kicking until I get back."

They remained in bed until a servant arrived with their morning meal. Katsa retrieved one of Po's shirts from his bags, claiming that the baby liked the way he smelled. Po found that he couldn't argue with that.

Goodbyes were said in the courtyard. It was a cold autumn morning and Katsa was helping Po with his cloak. Bann was getting onto his horse after bidding Bitterblue and Giddon farewell. Raffin was no where to be seen.

"Talk to him, Po. He's having a hard time with Raffin," she whispered to him.

"I already know, love." He pressed his lips to Katsa, pulling her body under the protection of his cloak and deepened the kiss. When he finally pulled away he brought his hand to rest on her belly. Next time he saw her, Katsa would be bigger, he thought. He had to force himself to climb onto his horse's back, afraid that if he did not he would not be able to leave her.

It was not easy for Katsa to watch him go, however she did not cry. Her mind pulled her back to the memory of Po arriving in the Middluns at Raffin's request. She had decided not to give him the news by letter, Po deserved more than that. The weeks leading up to his arrival felt like an eternity.

Katsa had been staying in the secret room attached to Raffin's workrooms in Randa's castle. Even Po had to sneak in as he was no longer a welcomed guest in Randa's eyes. As the room had no windows, Katsa found herself pacing back and forth in the candle light. When the door to the secret room finally opened, Katsa's heart felt tight in her chest and all the words she planned disappeared from her mind.

Po strode over to her but Katsa's feet were planted firmly in place. His hands cupped her face, his lips softly meeting hers. Katsa was acutely aware that they were alone, yet she still couldn't find the words.

"Kat, love, what is it? Raffin's letter said that you required my presence. Did something happen?"

She realized she was sitting on the bed, although she didn't recall moving to sit. Po had pulled up a chair and sat in front of her, holding her hands in his lap. Without knowing how or why, there were tears flowing from her eyes. Even without sight, Po knew she was crying. 

"If you've changed your mind, Katsa-" Po paused. "Katsa, it's alright."

That seemed to bring her back. She shook her head. She slowly reached up and pulled Po's hands from her face. "That's just it, Po, I haven't changed my mind."

He withdrew his hands from her grasp. "Then what's wrong." 

Through blurry eyes she found one of his hands and brought it to rest flat on her stomach. "Po, we did it."

There was a moment of silence as Po absorbed Kasta's gesture and her words. When it sank in he responded by pulling her into his arms so that she was sitting in his lap. His hand never left her stomach as he whispered into her ear. "Oh Katsa, thank you." She was his world and their child would be too.

Katsa watched as Po and Bann disappeared in the distance. This was their first time apart since she told Po the news. She would miss him, but Katsa knew that she had to be strong for the both of them and their baby.


	6. Sacrifice

Katsa sat upright in the saddle of her horse, a bow in her right hand, drawing the already notched arrow in her left. She was on her third attempt at that exercise for the day. She directed her horse to jump over a pole only by the strength in her thighs. With the arrow notched and drawn, she aimed at the target before her and released. The arrow sank home in the center of the target. Unsatisfied, Katsa brought her horse around to make another pass. While her horse was in mid-jump she released the next arrow.

"Bullseye."

Katsa turned momentarily to see Bitterblue standing not too far from her course. Ignoring her, Katsa readied for another attempt.

"You've made it four times already, don't you think you should stop?"

Katsa swung the bow over her head, so that it hang on her shoulder across her body, and jumped down from her horse. Giving Bitterblue attention she said, "You're right, I should make it more challenging." Katsa moved to place a second pole for her horse to jump over.

"Isn't it enough for today?"

"I need to keep myself in shape, I never know when I might need to help someone." Katsa proceeded to climb back onto her horse.

"I could order you."

"You could but you won't. Plus, I don't think I'd follow your orders, no offense."

Bitterblue stood with her arms crossed over her chest, unsure how to continue. She remained there for some time watching, until an attendant arrived and she was called away.

When her duties were done, Bitterblue enjoyed a bath prepared by her servants. She was left alone, taking in the floral aroma of the water when the doors opened. Giddon stepped inside and Bitterblue's lips curved upward.

"I don't recall receiving an invitation." Giddon came to sit on the edge of the bath, his fingers dipping into the warm water.

"I'm sorry. I spent most of the day at my desk going over papers, I longed for the water." Giddon shifted so that he sat at Bitterblue's back and extending his arms forward, he began massaging her shoulders. Bitterblue leaned into him.

"You are tense. It can't just be papers bothering you."

At first she said nothing, then Bitterblue recalled that Giddon was Giddon, newly her husband, but also her most trusted companion. She remembered that they both agreed to tell each other the truth. "Its Katsa."

"What about her?"

"She's not normal."

"Katsa's never been normal."

"Yes, I know that, but I'm referring to her being pregnant."

Giddon's hands stopped moving. "What do you mean?"

Bitterblue turned to look at him directly. "Well she's been training in the courtyard all day every day for the last few weeks or so my spies tell me. It seems her exercises grow with intensity each day. I went for myself to see. I don't know how she does it."

"I don't think many of us know how Katsa does what she does."

"I suppose I just wonder if it's normal, for her, I mean."

"Katsa's always been a hard trainer, but I see what you mean. Its a shame Raffin has already gone or we could ask him if this behavior is new or simple Katsa being unrelenting even in her pregnancy."

"Still, it doesn't sit right with me, with Po being gone on a mission and all."

"I agree."

"I wish Madlin were still here."

"Were you expecting her to stay after the wedding?"

"I thought she'd perhaps want to."

"Her mission to observe us was long over and even then she chose to stay out of respect for the relationship she had with you. Still I'm sure she missed her friends and family back in the Dells."

"She didn't have family."

"Even so, I'm sure there was someone who missed her and she missed in return."

"I think I'll write her."

"I'm sure she'd like that very much." Giddon kissed the top of her head. "This thing with Katsa though, it shouldn't be taken lightly. I think it would be a good idea to write Raffin as well. I'll have some of my men watch her in the meantime."

"I've already asked Helda. If she won't listen to me, perhaps she'll listen to her."

* * *

Katsa slumped into her bed, not caring to remove her soiled clothing. Her muscles were sore, she took that as a good sign, that her training was worth something. Although her movements were slow, she took the effort to pull the blankets aside and slid underneath them. The linens were cold from neglect. She reached her arm out and found nothing but the empty half of the bed. Po had been gone nearly a full cycle of the moon. She tried to not let her mind dwell too much on how long his mission with Bann would take. 

With her resolve she chose to focus on more tasks, tougher exercises for the next day. She needed to keep strong but her ever growing belly made completing her usual tasks even more difficult. Kasta fought the urge to reach down and stroke her belly. It reminded her too much how Po was not there. She'd grown fond of him tenderly rubbing her belly and talking to their baby. She couldn't bring herself to do so without him. 

* * *

"Helda, what is it?"

The old woman's hands twisted in the fabric of her apron. "She's at it again, Lady Queen. I've asked her to come and lie down but she just won't listen. Yesterday when she finally decided to retire she could barely make it up the stairs to her room. I've never seen her work herself so hard, and I've certainly never seen Katsa flushed until then."

Giddon's hand landed over Bitterblue's. "Where is she now?" he asked. Giddon sat in his throne next to Bitterblue. 

"In the courtyard, Lord King."

* * *

Giddon was hesitant as he entered the courtyard. Despite having heard details from Bitterblue and Helda, he was not quite prepared for the scene before him. Katsa had transformed part of the courtyard into her own training grounds.

There was a cache of weapons; swords, spears, bows; ranging in size and ferocity. Cast aside were battered sand bag dummies with too many holes to even consider sand bags any longer. What shocked him most was the sheer size and level of challenge that was her obstacle course.

Giddon had seen Katsa train before, many times in fact. Even long before she met Po, he had seen her make a fool out of more than a dozen of Oll's men on countless occasions. But this was different, this Katsa took on alone. 

Katsa was hard at work on horseback slashing away at wooden figures that would be her opponents. Discarding her sword she reached for a spear, changing positions on her horse, she plowed into another wooden adversary. Once she'd worn the spear's tip she pulled a bow from over her shoulder, readied an arrow and took aim on another figure.

He watched her do so several times without her acknowledging his presence once. It was when he noticed the condition of the horse beneath her lessen that he spoke. "Isn't that my horse?" 

She looked his way but only for a second. "My horse quit on me days ago."

"Back to ruining horses again so soon?"

"I wouldn't have to 'ruin' them if they could keep up."

"Katsa, listen to yourself. Even for you, this is too much."

"Nothing can ever be too much when you face the end of someone else's blade."

"It can when you're in your condition. Katsa, the only reason you ride these horses is likely you can't stand and complete the course without them."

As if to make a point, Katsa brought the horse to a halt, jumped off and continued attacking the wooden figures on foot.

"What would Po say to all this?"

Katsa stopped, pointing a dagger at Giddon she said, "You leave him out of this."

"That's just it Katsa, I can't." Katsa aimed her dagger at a wooden dummy and it landed in the dummy's chest; if it had a heart, she would have pierced it. "This behavior of yours concerns Po too. If you keep going on like this, it could be bad for the baby."

"You think you know everything don't you, Lord King." She was mocking him, this much Giddon knew.

"I don't understand your aggression Katsa but if you wish me to remain it's target then fine. I only wish that you heed what I'm saying."

Katsa pulled another dagger from her belt. The moment she released it she doubled over. Giddon was frozen in place. Kasta did not scream but it was the sight of bright red between Katsa's legs that alerted him. He made it to her side as she swayed. Catching her in his arms, Giddon cried out for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't realize until after rereading this that I made Katsa a lefty archer.... I suppose since I'm left handed it came natural


	7. Awakening

Katsa felt as if she was swimming under water deep beneath the surface. Something struck her as odd; how could she be breathing? Suddenly her mind felt pressure from all around and she realized that she was not swimming at all. Her fingers reached out to grasp linen. Surely she didn't remember laying down to go to sleep, in fact she couldn't remember the last thing she'd done for anything. And why was it so hard to open her eyes, she wondered. Her eyes were sticky and heavy lidded and she had to blink several times to clear her vision. However, this did nothing to rid her of the pressure squeezing her head.

Katsa's waking gaze instantly found a ceiling that she did not recognize, a ceiling with high pointed arches. Looking left of herself she counted more than ten beds, more like cots really, that were unoccupied and in line with whatever it was she was laying on. Looking right she found it more or less the same. She concluded that she was in an infirmary of sorts. Katsa found the pain in her mind increase as she tried to recover what could bring her to the infirmary. Seeing no one, she discerned it was up to her to ascertain the answers.

Initially she attempted to sit up, which did not work. It seemed her body was going against her. Probing beneath the linens with her hands she discovered that she was clothed in a night gown. She probed further trying to find an injury, or a bandage, or anything to indicate why she was there. It was when her hands felt her stomach that everything came flooding back.

She had been in the courtyard training in her obstacle course when Giddon had arrived to observe. It was not long before that that they were arguing. She remembered throwing her dagger, then pain, and then blood. There had been a substantial amount of blood between her legs visible through the color of her leggings. Katsa had thought two names as Giddon carried her as he would a child. Po. Raffin. Neither of which were there. Her memories ceased there, deducing that she either blacked out or it was so traumatic from all the blood and pain that she couldn't bear to recall it.

Splaying her hands out she felt her rounded belly. Tears poured out of Katsa's eyes like rivers. What had she done? This was all her fault, that much she knew. She had destroyed a life because of her own selfishness. Katsa knew that training should have been out of the question; there would be no need, for she was not going and would not be going on missions of any kind. Yet out of her own despair over Po's absence she'd chosen to do so, resulting in the loss of her unborn baby. Po would be devastated. Oh Po, she thought. She'd broken her promise to him; she was not strong, she was weak, so weak.

It was no surprise that she did not react to the sound of footsteps as someone approached. She was so consumed by her guilt that she did not even acknowledge her own name as it was called.

"Katsa." The caller repeated her name several times, yet she did not respond. Not so much as a change in breathing or a glance.

Katsa continued in her solace as the footsteps receded.

* * *

Cool fingers smoothed Kasta's hair down and away from her face.

"She feels warm. Bring me a bowl of water and some cloth, I'd like to wash the tear stains from her face."

"Lady Queen, if I may, I can do it for you." An attendant stood above Bitterblue as she sat at her dear friend's bedside.

"No, thank you."

A pair of footsteps receded but the cool hands remained, stroking her face then moving to braid loose locks of Katsa's hair. There was a long silence until the pair of footsteps returned, setting something down with a clunk on the night stand, and receded once more. Bitterblue wiped the tears away with a damp cloth, while Katsa's gaze remained unmoving on the ceiling.

"I never thought I'd be taking care of you as you did me after escaping my father just before he killed my mother." Bitterblue searched Katsa's face and found nothing. "Do you know how glad I am that it was you and Po who found me?" Still nothing.

Bitterblue proceeded to folding the cloth and placing it on Katsa's warm forehead. She had to wipe her own tears away.

"You aren't the only one who wishes Po were here. He's probably the only person that knows how to help you, Oh Katsa, look at me. Say something! Just let me know you're still there!"

Katsa did not so much as even blink.

"Giddon is beside himself. He hasn't spoken much in days but I know he blames himself." Bitterblue sat with her hands in her lap, wondering if what she was saying might be making it worse, but then again she'd been at it for days and this was all she had left. "Bones. Maybe when Raffin gets here....he may know what to do."

* * * 

In his life Raffin had never traveled with such haste until he received news from Queen Bitterblue regarding Katsa. He had taken his leave immediately without a word to his father, King Randa, or to his wife, Larissa. He knew Katsa and he should have stayed in Monsea, knowing full well that the combination of Katsa being pregnant and the absence of Po would be a lot for her, Raffin admitted that he was being selfish as of late.

Consumed with his responsibilities as an expectant father in addition to his duties as Prince of the Middluns (after his father's near brush with death), his affiliation with the Council, and his abilities as a healer were causing Raffin to spread himself too thin. Then there was Bann. As much as Raffin would like to, that was something that could not be forgotten or easily cast aside. He missed his long time companion but in his current situation he saw no ways to reconcile what had come between them. No matter how much Raffin punished himself, there was nothing he could do to alleviate Bann. In the midst of all these things, his mind had neglected someone that held the largest piece of his heart, his dearest Katsa. And at that moment, she needed him most.

Night had long fallen as Raffin arrived at Bitterblue Castle in Monsea. The guards at the main gate had been expecting him, a steward arriving immediately in order to collect his horse and belongings. A personal attendant of the Queen's accompanied Helda as she greeted him in the courtyard. The attendant held a torch, allowing them to see in the darkness of night.

Raffin although exhausted from the hard ride, greeted Helda in kind manner, his princeliness ever present despite the circumstances of his presense. He was however stricly business.

"Helda," he bowed to the old woman who smiled in return. "How is she?"

Helda's mouth drooped to form a scowl. "I think its best you see for yourself."

"Please, lead the way." The old woman nodded, the attendant being the first to move as to light their way.

The castle was quiet, almost desolate, only a few servants passing silently through the halls. The castle had taken an entirely different tone since his last visit for Bitterblue and Giddon's wedding. He had expected to be led to the infirmary, Helda could see the question on his face as he looked around the dark passageway, trying to ascertain their intended destination.

"We were able to move Katsa to her chambers, thinking perhaps it would be more comfortable for her."

It was Raffin's turn to scowl. "I rather wish she hadn't been moved."

"I agree, however, beds were filling up in the infirmary. It was thought best that there was not an audience."

"I see." Many thoughts ran through the fair-haired prince's mind. Nothing would alleviate him until he was able to observe and evaluate Katsa himself. As they continued through the castle, Raffin sought other conversation to keep him not only awake but also distracted. "How is the queen fairing with her new husband?"

Helda took a deep breath. "Things were going rather well until all this."

"What do you mean?"

"This situation alone is distracting the Lady Queen as it is. However, The Lord King himself seems to be having a harder time with it."

Raffin stopped short, causing Helda and the attendant to stop as well. "Helda-" he fell silent.

"Giddon was speaking with Katsa when she—when she became ill. He's taking it rather personally. I reported to the Lady Queen of Katsa's behavior and he insisted on trying to reason with her. He blames himself, thinking that his conversation with her brought this on."

Raffin shook his head then resumed walking, Helda and the attendant moving as well. "I've known him for many years, as have you, Helda. He tends to keep everything in, letting it eat him up inside."

"He hasn't spoken much and he barely eats."

"No doubt that this thing with Giddon has its effect on the queen."

Helda nodded.

"Has there been any word from Po?"

"I'm afraid we have no way of knowing the progress of their mission."

"What about the tunnel?"

"The Lady Queen has instructed the guards posted there to notify her as soon as they're spotted and to give Po nothing other than a message to return to the castle immediately."

Raffin fell silent. There wasn't anything more he could ask for in that regard. Moments later they arrived at the doors to Katsa's rooms. Guards were posted outside, giving no acknowledgment of their presence. Helda quietly opened one of the doors; only she and Raffin continued inside. They rooms were lit by various candles. Upon entering Katsa's bedchamber, Raffin saw her laying in bed, a quilt drawn up to her chest. Disregarding Helda, he stepped ahead, making it to her bedside. Katsa's eyes were shut.

"Has she been sleeping all this time?"

"No. She awoke several days later but showed no sign of acknowledging anyone. She stares blankly at the ceiling. She hasn't spoken a word. She sleeps sometimes but whilst she's awake it's like how she was after she first woke up."

"Is she eating?"

"She does not take food but she does not refuse it either. She won't chew so she's been reduced to gruel. Sometimes I feed her, other times the Lady Queen."

Raffin stood still, looking at Katsa. Those were none of the things he was hoping to hear. Without looking up at Helda, he said, "I'd like to be alone with her."

Helda remained silent as she exited.

Raffin fluffed the pillows beneath her before taking a seat in the chair already pulled up next to her bed. The light from the numerous candles had dimmed as they burned low. He took her hand in his as it laid motionless by her side. His free hand moved to smooth stray hairs from her face. My dearest Kat, he thought. The backs of his fingers gently stroked her cheek.

"Forgive me, love. I should have stayed. I was too consumed with my own happenings to see where I was truly needed. You're so selfless and I've done nothing to return that. I can't change the past Katsa but I am here now and I am not going anywhere."

As expected there was no response on Katsa'a end. However, he was content to remain there at his cousin's bedside, her hand resting in his.

* * * 

Raffin could not recall exactly when sleep had claimed him. He awoke to the morning light peering in the room as Helda drew the curtains open. A tray of food and tea had been placed on the bedside table. Although he hadn't eaten much during his travels, he found his hunger slow to rise. Instead his focus remained on Katsa.

Once Helda had gone from the room he resigned to scan Katsa's sleeping form. As the candlelight had previously afforded her with warm coloring, the morning light did not. She was pale, pasty, not far from the color of her nightclothes that she'd been dressed. Before him was not the Katsa he was used to seeing, As her grace had never allowed her to become ill, he was unaccustomed to her being that way. Her coloring reminded him of death. He did not want to to think of Katsa as dead.

The quit was still pulled up just under her breasts. He rolled it down to expose her belly, still covered by her nightclothes, a white night gown. He was surprised with how rounded her small belly remained. Pulling up the night gown to get a better look, Raffin found himself curious. His hand gently felt Katsa's stomach, it was firmly rounded, a good sign. He kept his hand there a few moments, it was still early enough that it did not alarm him when he did not find what he was looking for.

He removed his hand from Katsa's belly and spun around in search of his bags. He found them at the foot of the bed. Undoubtedly Helda or an attendant had brought them in. He immediately began rummaging through his medicine bag.

* * *

Katsa opened her eyes to her ill-lit bedchamber. She had commanded her body not to wake up, as she stared at the ceiling she wondered what had been the cause. The candles around the room had burned low and the drapes were pulled shut, allowing no moonlight to enter. When her eyes did not afford her with answers she reached out in the bed next to herself, the sheets however unoccupied were still warm.

Po. She called out his name, her voice hoarse from disuse. The sound of a baby crying answered.

Kasta bolted upright. It can't be, she thought to herself. Then there was another cry. She heard it through the walls. Sliding her legs over the side of the bed she felt unbalanced. As she stood she held onto the bedpost for support.

The crying persisted more loudly and more frequently as Katsa followed the sound. Sliding her hand along the walls she passed through her chambers until she heard crying behind a closed door. Her hand was shaking as it reached for the doorknob, revealed was a cradle in the center of the room.

As if sensing Katsa standing in the doorway, the crying escalated and Katsa felt as if her heart might break. She stumbled over to the cradle to find it empty. The crying stopped. Franticly scanning around the room the baby was no where to be seen. She looked down at her hands that were already outstretched in an effort to reach for the baby that wasn't there. Katsa blinked to find her hands soaking in blood.

Katsa jolted upright, a scream escaping her lips. Her eyes had not opened to darkness, instead the midday sun peeked in through the opened drapes. She heard her name and turned to see her cousin Raffin coming to stand next to her bed. She resigned that she must still be dreaming. Raffin was a long way away. But still he continued to say her name.

Raffin's hands cupped her face as he attempted to force the eye contact. For a moment she wondered if he was real because he felt so real, but then again so had her nightmare.

"Kat, look at me."

Katsa groaned. "Stop it. Go away. I've had it with nightmares."

"Katsa, I'm really here."

With her face still held in his hands she shook her head. "You can't be. Raffin is home in the Middluns with his pregnant wife."

Raffin looked at the floor. "I was at first but then Bit—" He met her eyes. "Once I heard what happened I came straight here, to you."

That seemed just the thing to bring Katsa back to reality. Tears began to stream from her eyes. "Oh Raffin, I've done something terrible. I've been so selfish. Po will be devastated."

Raffin tried to shush her but she kept repeating it over and over again."Katsa, it's alright."

She removed his hands from her face and shook her head. "No. You don't understand. I've lost the baby, Po's baby. I gave Po hope and I took it away. I'm awful."

He tried to take her hands but she continued to pull away. "Kat listen to me."

"No you listen. I don't deserve Po. He's too good to me and I don't deserve you either. You should hate me."

"I could never do that. Katsa please, there's something you should know."

"I already know everything I need to. I'm a terrible person and I don't deserve to be a mother."

Raffin shook his head. "That's a shame. I'm not sure that's something Po would like to hear, especially after you give birth."

Katsa's hysterics stopped. "What?"

"You didn't lose the baby, Katsa. I can't say if it was because of your grace or what but you're still pregnant."

The bottom of Katsa'a mouth hung open.

"Kat—"

"Still pregnant," Katsa repeated. Her eyes were unfocused ahead of her as she sank back into a laying position in the bed.

"I almost didn't know to look myself."

Her eyes darted to meet Raffin's. "Po's not back yet, is he?"

"No. He was spotted in the tunnel though. He should be here by day's end."


	8. Return

_Po, slow down_ , Bann called out to Po's mind. He'd been trying to catch up to Po for the better part of an hour. 

Po had set the pace of break-neck speed as they neared the Monsean half of the tunnel. Po's grace had grown in sensitivity and range, but he had been more aware of Katsa from the moment he fell in love with her. Her distress had hit him like the waves crashing against the cliff-side of his castle during winter, hard and unrelenting. He could no longer think beyond getting back to her. He hadn't even stopped for the Monsean guards posted at the tunnel's exit. However, some part of him had heard the Queen's message, hastening him even further. And then there was Bann, yelling into his mind. Po knew he was pushing both their horses to the breaking point but he frankly didn't care. He didn't even care whether or not Bann caught up. He did not bother to acknowledge his calls. Suddenly the gates to Katsa's mind closed shut. Po came to an abrupt stop. After several minutes Bann and his horse pulled up alongside him.

"What in the Seven Kingdoms was that about?" huffed Bann.

Po still did not turn to Bann, although he felt his presence, a heavy weight. He may not have proper use of his eyes, but they moved back and forth as if scouring the stretch of land ahead of them. His mind was hard at work. Usually he spent the better part of his time with Katsa trying to keep out of her mind, respecting her privacy. But after everything he'd just experienced via his grace, he would give nearly anything to get passed her guard.

_Po!_

Po's mind came back into focus and he finally turned to Bann. "It's Katsa."

"Is she alright?"

"She was in distress, but now..." Po trailed off.

"Now?"

"Nothing. I can't read her."

"Has something happened? Is she hurt?"

Po pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know. Her mind is closed off from me."

"Can she be unconscious or..." Bann didn't want to say it but his mind had already thought _dead_.

"No. I can still sense her but only to an extent." Relief washed over Bann. "I know she's in the castle but without insight into her mind, I can't know more until we're closer."

Bann pulled on the reins of his horse. "I suppose we should get going then."

* * *

"He should be here by day's end."

As soon as Raffin had said those words, Katsa closed her mind like a dam. She knew full well the extent to which Po's grace could reach, in particular how attuned he was to her. She could not relinquish her mind, otherwise Po would know and she wanted to be the one to talk to him in person. She could just imagine what would be going through his mind if he were close enough to read her.

She looked to her cousin. "Raffin, I need you to listen to me carefully. You cannot think about Po, whatsoever. I need you to tell Bitterblue and Giddon and Helda the same. Chances are Po will already know once he reaches the city. But only you and I know that I'm still pregnant. I need to be the one to speak with Po." Raffin nodded. He turned away spouting out ingredients to various concoctions as he left her chambers.

Katsa had many years of practice shutting Po out of her mind when she needed her thoughts to herself. At first she could only focus on what separated her mind from his; like a wall or a closed door; taking up all of her focus to maintain the block and not enabling her to think of anything else. After years of training her mind, however, she could think beyond the wall, allowing her thoughts to truly be her own.

Katsa sat up, slowly, as she recalled just how fragile she was in her current state. She was mindful not to jostle too much as she got out of the bed. Her legs felt limber from disuse. As she made her way to her dresser she caught her image in the tall mirror in her bedchamber. She was a frail slip of a woman. Her hair in a disarray, in places was plastered to her face. She was pale, sickly so. Katsa would not have been able to tell she was pregnant underneath her night gown. Never having been a vain woman, she concluded without doubt the sight of her would give anyone a fright. She called and an attendant arrived immediately, and a bath was drawn.

* * *

Freshly washed and dressed in her usual attire of tunic and leggings, Katsa sat in a chair as her chambermaid combed through her tangled mess of hair. Normally she would have done so herself but she was making an even bigger mess of it, somehow creating a nest look atop her head. Katsa faced the open window and watched as the sun began its decent. The door creaked open to Raffin entering with a tray of food in hand.

Katsa's chambermaid put down the brush and silently exited. Katsa caught a look of herself in the mirror. Although the bath could do nothing for the weight she'd lost, her color was beginning to return and the chambermaid had been successful at taming her wild mane into a silky braid.

At the sound of the metal tray making contact with a table Katsa looked to her cousin. "Are crown princes delivering my dinner trays now?" Raffin glared at her.

In truth Helda had stormed into the room yelling at Katsa for not sending for her. No sooner had the two entered into a screaming match that Raffin arrived to intervene. He explained that the arguing wouldn't be good for the baby. That shut Helda up quickly, allowing Katsa to explain that she did not tell Helda in fear that Po would hear the wrong thoughts, Helda instantly burst into tears and Katsa could not recall seeing the old woman cry ever before in her time knowing her. Raffin had led Helda away and that was the last that Katsa had seen of the old woman.

Raffin handed Katsa a slice of bread; it was warm in her hands.

"Where is Helda?"

"She's in her room. I gave her something to help her relax. She's lounged out on her sofa. Who knew the old woman could snore so loudly?"

Katsa nearly choked on her bread. She recovered quickly though. "What about the others?"

"I've told them. I have every faith in Bitterblue. Giddon, I'm not so sure."

Katsa said nothing. With one hand she reached for a second slice of bread whilst the other landed on her belly. _Po will be here soon_ , she thought.

Just then the doors to her bedchamber burst open. Katsa's head nearly whipped around to the sight of Po gasping for air in the doorway. She wanted to go to him but found her body frozen in place.

Po caught his breath and stood straight. "Do you have any idea how scared you had me? And here you are breaking bread with your cousin like nothing's wrong."

Raffin took that as his cue and shuffled out of the room and out of Po's way.

Everything Katsa had planned could not find its way to her lips. Instead, at the sight of Po, her wall broke away into a million pieces. Subsequently, all the thoughts in the forefront of her mind flooded into Po's. Momentarily Po found himself handicapped by the flood of Katsa's thoughts. In his mind he saw everything, experienced all that Katsa had during his absence; from the loneliness, the pain, the heartache, the grief, the self-loathing, the sudden joy; as if it were his own. The sensations were so overwhelming that Po was brought to his knees.

Katsa, her body suddenly unfrozen, found her legs and went to him. Po wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in.

"Oh Katsa, I'm so sorry."

"No. You don't get to say that, I'm the one to be apologizing." She went down to her knees. Po sank, his arms fell slack to his sides and his head bent down. Katsa's hands came to the sides of his head, forcing him to meet her gaze. "I'm sorry Po. I nearly hurt our baby, you, and us. I'm so stupid and selfish. It won't ever happen again."

Po was pulling Katsa into his arms. "I shouldn't have gone. You needed me."

"I still do." Po was kissing her. She didn't deserve that man and yet he still loved her. "I promise I'll be a good mother."

"I have no doubt that you will."


	9. Ships Passing in the Night Part I

Having moved from the floor to the comfort of their bed, Katsa and Po had spent the majority of the evening getting reacquainted in many different ways. As the moon had reached it's highest point in the night sky, a peaceful silence had fallen upon them. Exhausted, Katsa rolled away from Po onto her side, allowing her eyes to shut, she willed herself to sleep. Po, wide awake as he was, sat up in the bed to lean against the headboard, careful not to jostle his lover beside him. She was not yet asleep, he didn't need his grace to know that. Po had a lot on his mind, most of which he chose not to express during his reunion with Katsa, but he could not allow himself to think on it until she were asleep. Po leaned over to place a kiss on the top of Katsa's head and then to nuzzle his cheek in her hair before sitting up again, reclining his head against the headboard. He had long missed moments such as these and remained content to sit alongside her in the quiet of the night.

Po felt the change in Katsa's breathing as she relaxed into sleep. Like the spark of a newly lit fire, Po's mind exploded with dozens of thoughts simultaneously. Often teased by his friends and family for talking too much, but never did he truly express his feelings in words. He had been told by his loved ones, particularly Katsa, that he could convey the deepest of emotions by a mere look in his eyes. Although Katsa had sworn against it, Po knew that he'd lost some of that ability along with his sight. When his vision had gone, Po had retreated into himself, only with the help of Katsa, he returned. So conscious was he of everyone else's feelings, in matters of his own heart, he almost always kept them to himself.

Po was long overdue for a heart to heart with no one other than himself. Even from the moment Katsa had returned to his Lienid home from a long stint of missions, telling him that she finally wanted to give him a child, Po had not allowed himself to understand how he actually felt. So overwhelmed was he by the sheer joy, that he had not even considered how their lives would have to change in order for it to happen. Looking back, he should have had a conversation with Katsa about it, but before he knew it, she was off on another trip to see her cousin. Next thing Po knew, he received an urgent letter from Raffin requiring his presence in the Midluns. He had been so afraid that Randa had found Katsa out and that he might take action, that Po was beside himself when Katsa gave him the news that he would become a father.

When he realized his true feelings for Katsa and that she returned them, Po knew he'd give up anything to be with her. Marriage was off the table and he respected her reasons for it, despite how much grief he got from his father, his siblings, and not to mention Helda; whom was like a mother to Katsa. Children were off the table too. The moment Katsa agreed to be lovers, Po did not think he would ever, not even once, crave either of those things.

To propose marriage to Katsa would be to push her away, for he understood no matter how much he swore being married to him wouldn't change her, he know that to be untrue. To change Katsa went against everything he loved about her. But as the years went by, Po found himself surrounded by children. He was up to his knees in nieces and nephews. Despite himself, watching his brothers become fathers awakened a yearning within him that he'd thought he'd long buried deep. Po had gone so far as to picture Katsa pregnant, so much so that he'd dreamed it. To a have a son or a daughter, Po did not care. He only wished to create life with the love of his life. He even once contemplated tampering with Katsa's supply of seabane, but to do so would have been a betrayal not only to Katsa but to himself as well.

Thus Po buried such desire deep, deeper than he had buried anything else. And then Po awoke to Katsa straddling him in their bed. She uttered the words, "I want to have a baby with you, Po," and Po found that the desire he buried so deep had risen stronger than ever. His own resolve had melted away without a second thought. Selfish Po had been ever since that moment.

Po did not have the grace to see the future, but that did not mean he could not have guessed what was to come. Po knew Katsa, and it shouldn't have been hard to see that it would not be an easy transition. The weeks following, Po had deluded himself into thinking that everything would somehow go smoothly. It was one thing for he and Katsa to remain in the secret rooms of Randa's castle, but another matter entirely when they paraded around with their friends for Bitterblue's wedding. Po wanted numerous times to flaunt what he and Katsa had managed to all the seven kingdoms.

Caught up in the excitement of sharing the news, Po had abandoned Katsa when she came face-to-face with the reality of what being pregnant meant. The foundations under everything Katsa did were ripped out from under her. Making matters worse, Po went along and did the one thing that could make circumstances for Katsa worse by accepting the mission to Nander. Sure, Po rationalized that it was his duty as a principle council member, not realizing that he had a new duty, being there for his love as she carried their growing babe inside her.

Po came to the very realization the moment after he had come storming into the room and Katsa opened the floodgates of her mind to him. There had been several times in which Po had wished he could share his thoughts with Katsa in the same manner he knew hers. However, he never wished it as hard as he did in the very moment as he sat awake while she lay curled on her side next to him. With every fiber of his being Po wished it to be so, for Katsa to know his thoughts as intimately as he knew hers.

Po leaned over and brought his lips to Katsa's ear. "I love you, and I am more sorry than you will ever know. So long as you want me, I will never leave you again."

* * *

Unable to sleep, Po found his mind wander around the castle. Although he could not hear a person's thoughts unless they were thinking of him in that very moment, Po's awareness of the physical had grown. The moon had already begun it's descent and he could sense the waking of several servants, no doubt the kitchen staff rousing to bake the day's bread. There were also the occasional scurries of servants who'd yet gone to bed and the swaying of guards that wished they had. It was the pacing of one individual in particular that drew Po's attention above all else.

Through Po's reverie he had failed to notice Giddon's behavior as he began wearing a hole into the floor in the King and Queen's chamber. Bitterblue lay asleep in her bed with Giddon in the next room erratically moving back and forth. Giddon's mind opened to Po like a blooming flower, giving Po rise to seek out his distressed companion. Po leaned over once more to Katsa, kissing her on the forehead, he whispered into her ear.

"I'm not going far, love. I'll be back soon."

With that, Po sought out Giddon. Arriving at the main doors to the royal chambers he was apprehended by a pair of what may otherwise be considered intimidating guards if Po weren't capable of taking both men down in five moves or less.

"State your business," one of the guards barked. 

"I've come to speak to his majesty, King Giddon."

"The Lord King is asleep. You may set up a meeting with his chief adviser come morning," said the second guard.

"I assure you he isn't, in fact he's expecting me."

Both guards exchanged confounded looks until one of them shrugged and the other opened one of the doors and disappeared inside. Po and the first guard remained and had a duel of stares, which Po found secretly hilarious given that he was blind, only to be broken when the second guard returned. "You may enter."

Po responded with a rather un-courtly nod before taking his leave and entering into the royal chambers.

He found his old friend in the royal sitting room, pacing the entire length of the room and muttering to himself. Giddon came to an abrupt halt at the sight of Po, a menacing sight to behold by his large silhouette taking up the archway. Giddon was doing his best to think about what to say to Po when he finally saw him. Po couldn't help it, he was reading Giddon's thoughts because Giddon was thinking of him at that instant, frozen in place like a stunned deer. He gulped. _Po would surely get a kick of of this under different circumstances, watching me fret about and all_ , thought Giddon.

Despite himself, Po was momentarily enjoying watching Giddon squirm. He never disliked Giddon, in fact he respected him, even when Giddon was pursuing Katsa. There had been perhaps an instant in which Po considered Giddon his rival for Katsa's affections, and despite how well he knew Katsa, that she could never return Giddon's feelings, he often found himself jealous of the time Giddon and Katsa had previously spent together. There was no jealousy now, nor had there been for many years. _Then why is this so hard?_ wondered Po. He was about to break the silence when Giddon beat him to it.

"You were gone far longer than expected." He was beginning with strictly business. This was not Giddon's plan, then why were the words spoken with such malice?

Po stepped into the light, flickering across his face from two candelabras. "There were unforeseen complications."

"That prevented you from making any contact at all?"

"The situation in Nander was not what we suspec-"

"Do you have any inclination of what we've been going through here while you were gallivanting across the countryside?" _This is how its going to be then, Giddon on the offense_ , Po thought he was prepared and mentally crossed his fingers that he still was.

"I have some-" Giddon interrupted again.

"Well I'll inform you! You abandoned the woman you claim to love. She committed a selfless act, putting her needs and reservations aside to give you what you want and you show your gratitude by deserting her while she carried your child."

"I did not desert her, Giddon. This is what we do, working for the council for the betterment of the seven kingdoms. A mission came up and I accepted. Katsa understands that, despite her personal needs."

"If you had seen how Katsa was in the last two months, you would know how she truly felt. She protects you as best she can, and she always does, even from herself."

"You don't need to tell me about Katsa's feelings. I know exactly-"

"That's just it Po, you don't. Katsa is too forgiving to point out that you don't deserve her."

A long silence had fallen between the two men. The air was thick and stifling form the tension. Po clenched his jaw, trying to find the best way to proceed and failing. "What is the point of all this Giddon? What are you getting at?"

"This is not about me."

"Isn't it?"

Giddon shook his head. "This is about Katsa," pointing his finger at Po, "You don't deserve her."

"And you do? Do you still harbor those feelings of love you had for her all those years ago?"

Giddon wore a face of disgust. It unnerved him how Po always seemed to keep his cool, even when fists were swinging. "You would know if I did."

"Oh come now Giddon, you know how my grace works. I can tell how you feel and think in relation only to me. Anything else would be known strictly through observations, and we know that's a bit difficult to do considering that I'm blind."

"That's not what I meant."

"Besides, you haven't answered the question. Either you still care for her or you don't."

Giddon sighed. "Of course I care for her but not in the way I once did. Although Katsa may disagree, I have and I continue to think her to be one of my dearest friends. As her dear friend, I feel the need to stress my concern when I feel my other dear friend has wronged her." Giddon's hand went up to his face, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. He let out a breath which he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "You're a fortunate man, Po. Sometimes I don't think you realize it."

For once Po was thrown off. _What could he possibly mean by that?_ Po's face became pained. He did not like where his thoughts were going but he couldn't contain them. Too long he had kept silent. "You were a lord of another kingdom once, your title stripped away along with all of your riches. Now you're married to a queen. Giddon, don't lecture me on fortunes. I may be the son of a king, the last son, but I was born to a heavy burden. I had to keep my truest self hidden from my father, my brothers, and my people. I've done more than enough lying in order to protect myself and my secret. How do you think that affects a man's relationships? You know first hand what it's like to be friends with me." Po's hand slid across his face, wiping at his eyes. "Then I found a woman, a wonderfully brave and ferocious woman, that accepts me with all of my faults, as I accept her and all of hers. She loves me, she grounds me, she brought me back when I was in a dark place, and much more. None of this was easy for her. Now in her belly resides the greatest gift she could ever give, it's more than I deserve. I know I've failed her just as she knows she's failed herself. We both understand how fortunate..." Po took a deep breath, meeting Giddon's eyes and then released it before continuing. "We both understand how fortunate we are that the baby is still alive. We have been given a second chance, for what reason I do not know, but I will not take it for granted. We have learned from this and I have no doubt in my mind that Katsa wants our baby just as much as me. Nonetheless I will be indebted to that woman for the rest of my days and beyond for your are correct Giddon, she is more that I deserve, not a day goes by that I don't know that."

Po had finished speaking his mind and awaited Giddon's response. However Giddon just stared at him. It occurred to Po that as good friends, this was only the second argument they shared in the ten years of knowing each other. "Will punching me in the face help? Its been sometimes since anyone's given me a black eye." Po never expected Giddon to break out in a holler of a laugh so loud that the two guards came storming, swords drawn, and a sleepy Bitterblue appeared in the room's other entrance.

After regaining his composure, Giddon finally spoke. "No, as much as I would like to take you up on that offer Po, I don't think it's right for kings to punch princes, especially of those of other kingdoms, for such occurrences tend to result in war."

"And if I were on the opposite side of such a war, I'd worry for which council member that took on the mission."

"Knowing Katsa, she'd probably be the first to volunteer and kill us both."

"Good thing you've decided against it then. I rather hoped to go at least one day back without a black eye, I seem to attract them."

"Not many could resist punching a face like yours."

"In the name of the Seven Kingdoms, what is going on?" For the first time both men turned to acknowledge Bitterblue standing in the entryway.

Giddon stepped over to his wife and planted a kiss on her lips. "Just an understanding between dear friends."

"One that does not feel the need to punch me to get his point across," added Po."

"Oh good," said Bitterblue. She turned to disappear into her bedchamber. Both Giddon and Po exchanged questioning looks before Bitterblue spun around so fast and ran over to Po. He caught her with open arms. "Po you have no idea how glad we are to have you back." Po's tunic was wet from Bitterblue's joyful tears.

His hand soothed his cousin's hair. "Oh Blue, I think I just might."


	10. Ships Passing in the Night Part II

Po had left the king and queen in their chambers, longing to return to cuddle against Katsa's sleeping form. However, being who he was and what his grace afforded him, Po could not help what his mind sensed in the courtyard. Since neither party was thinking about him at the moment, he only knew whom was involved and where. Po was prepared to leave it be, doing so much as taking an alternate course back to his rooms so that he would not be tempted. He was too attuned though, as familiar as the minds he sensed were, he could discern that both men were agitated. Despite himself, Po made a b-line to the courtyard. 

Po's approach was slow and quiet.

"I can't change what happened." 

Bann scoffed. "This isn't about changing what happened, this is about changing what is. You continue to let your father dictate your life." Po stood by the entrance of the stables, from his position he could see Bann from behind with a bag slung over his shoulder, holding the reins of his horse, and Raffin facing him. 

"He's the king. He's indulged me for long enough. With the state the seven kingdoms are in, I cannot risk disobeying him."

"You're his only heir."

"But not the _only_ heir."

"You've never wanted to be king."

Raffin ran his finger through his blond hair. "He's informed me that with Katsa banished, cousin Rupert is second in line."

"Do you truly believe Randa would disinherit you and put that monster on the throne?"

"Bann, he's gone so far as to fake an illness in order to compel me to wed a lady just put a wedge between us." 

"No one forced you to put a babe in her belly, Raf."

"What else was I to do? She's my wife, yet you continue to forsake her."

"It's not about her, Raffin, don't you see?"

A long silence hang between the men. Bann adjusted his pack on his shoulder. Minutes ticked by without any sound besides the heavy breathing of the horses and the swishing of their tails. Bann shook his head. "I suppose that's it then." He turned around and Po ducked behind the stable door, pressing himself into the wall, he watched as Bann led his horse from the stables. Several feet away he stopped to fasten his bag to the back of his horse and climbed into the saddle. 

Raffin appeared in the stable doorway. "You are my best companion, Bann, I thought of all people you'd understand."

Bann did not so much as turn. Pulling on the reins and pressing into the horses sides with his heels, he rode from the courtyard, leaving through the castle gates.

Po thought to make a sound, something to alert Raffin of his presence. Before he could Raffin turned and said, "For once I wish you could read the minds of people without your grace's limitation. Forgive me, Po."

"I did not mean to spy. I intended on announcing myself."

"I'm not sure the outcome would be any different if you did. Besides, we all meddle in each other's business, otherwise we wouldn't be such good friends."

"You know I'd help you in any way I can."

"As much as I want to ask if he spoke to you during the mission, it's not my place."

"Then don't ask. Bann's hurt. He knows you have a duty to the Middluns, whether you want the crown or not and that you're too noble to leave it behind. He'd support you in that not matter what. But there's something you need to understand. He doesn't blame Larissa and although he'd like to blame your father for all of this, he doesn't think it's all on Randa." Po took a deep breath. "He thinks that considering your relationship it's, his fault that your father went to such an extreme but he can't bring himself to tell you so." 

"My father would've done this whether or not I had a relationship with Bann."

"That's not all. Seeing Larissa pregnant the night before the Bitterblue and Giddon's wedding really got to him."

Raffin was quiet. He rubbed his hand over his face then let it drop to his side. "I'm afraid Po, afraid to tell him the truth."

"And that is?"

Raffin let out a deep breath. "I'm falling in love with her. I never intended to and I never thought it would happen, but it did."

"You need to tell him, no matter if it hurts."

"I love him too, Po. Do you know what it's like to love two people at once?"

"I don't. But you owe it to him and yourself. Don't let this hang between the two of you. You of all people know what kind of life we lead as integral members of this council, and for people like you and me, our father's crowns can't bring back the people we love. Tell him before you lose the chance. Whatever happens after, well at least he knows and he can choose to take it or leave it."

Raffin looked in the direction in which Bann had gone, starring at the invisible path. "I didn't ask him where he's going."

"He's not going too far. On our travels, I may have mentioned the cabin that sheltered me while I was hiding from Leck's guards. You could make it there before sunset if you leave soon enough." 

"What about Katsa? I promised her I wouldn't leave."

"Katsa will understand."

"What about her pregnancy?"

"We talked about returning to Lienid, assuming it's safe enough for her to travel by ship."

Raffin nodded. "Take it slow. Expect me when she's close to giving birth."

"Won't you be with you're own wife and babe?"

"I'd be back in the Middluns in time for Larissa to give birth, yes, but I've promised Kat I'd be there for her too."

"I'll have rooms prepared for all of you."

"Thank you, Po."

* * *

When Po finally slid back into bed and tucked himself back into the blankets, the sun had fully risen. Katsa had barely moved. The corners of his mouth curved up into a smile. He couldn't bring himself to wake her. _Sleep the day away_ , he thought, _you deserve it_. His eyes slid over the length of her body, stopping at her belly. Po couldn't wait until the little life they created to come into the world. 

Leaning close to Katsa's belly he said, "You and your mother make it all worth it."


	11. Great seas!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Po has kind of stolen the show for the last three chapters, so I thought it would be nice to bring it back to Katsa.

Katsa's arms wrapped around Bitterblue, holding her tightly. She bent slightly, to kiss the top of the queen's head. Pulling back, she met Bitterblue's tear-filled eyes.

"I'm sorry, Blue, that we didn't get to spend much time together during my stay. It's all my fault." 

Bitterblue shook her head. "I'm happy just to have had you here, close to me. Besides, I haven't had time to make use of my cipher for some time. I look forward to exchanging letters."

"I look forward to it as well. Your's will be the first I write after Po and I welcome our child into this world."

Bitterblue reached out to Katsa's belly hesitantly. Katsa grabbed her hand and pulled it the rest of the way. Bitterblue's eyes widened. Katsa, as usual wore a tunic. _It may likely be Po's_ , thought Bitterblue. It was so ill-fitting that Bitterblue could barely see the shape of her belly unless a breeze caused the fabric to cling a certain way. _No wonder we'd all thought she'd lost it_. Beneath her hand, she could feel the roundness and silently wished she could feel the baby move. It amazed her, that a life could grow inside a person. She'd seen many women with child but never had it been so close, never had the woman been someone she cared for. At least not since her mother. Ashen had been pregnant with a second child when Bitterblue was only four. She remembered it vaguely, and as she tried to recall it in that moment, the memory was still fuzzy, hidden behind a dense fog in her mind. The earliest memories were still the hardest to find. She could only recall that the child was not carried to term. She was glad that that was not the case with Katsa. She had been overwhelmed with joy when she learned the news.

She looked up at Katsa and smiled before letting her hand fall away from Katsa's belly. "I'll be on the first ship out there!"

Katsa smiled but it did not reach her eyes. She reached forth to tuck a stray lock of Bitterblue's hair back into place. To her, whenever she looked at Bitterblue, she was reminded the little girl of ten, with eyes so wide they seemed to take in the whole world. 

She stepped back from the Monsean queen. She hated to leave her, it hurt almost as much as when she and Po would part. She had one thing to look forward to, and that was Po. They would depart from Monsea together, traveling to Po's castle in Lienid, where she and Po could spend the remainder of her pregnancy in a less intrusive manner. Katsa felt that although Bitterblue enjoyed her company, her presence here had been nothing but intrusive to the newlywed couple.

It bothered her more that she hadn't had an opportunity to really talk to Giddon in private. Her gaze fell upon him at that moment as he stood, exchanging words with Po. _Well at least the two of them were able to move passed what happened_. Katsa couldn't bear the thought of Po losing his friendship with Giddon, especially after everything they'd been through, especially because of her. She didn't blame him, not one bit. She wanted him to know that but for some reason the words wouldn't come.

Giddon met her gaze at that moment and the corners of his mouth curled up in a smile. Katsa couldn't recall the last time he smiled at her like that, if he ever did. She saw something in his eyes then. Not able to fully discern what it was, she smiled back. Giddon nodded. They shared a silent moment, one of understanding. One day she hoped to have the words for him, the words he deserved. 

Katsa felt the weight of another gaze and her eyes shifted to Po. He was looking at her with such love, it warmed her heart. Although Po could not physically see, he mastered the illusion of doing so. She knew, if not for the ever growing reach of his grace, that he would not be able to pull of such a feat. Po never ceased to amaze her. Her love for him had only ever grown.

Po crossed the space between them but his attention shifted to his cousin.

"Beetle," he said. Katsa watched as Bitterblue's eyes once again glistened. "Little cousin, don't cry. This is not goodbye, not ever."

The queen rubbed her eyes as Po reached down to bring her into his arms. He whispered into her ear, so low that even Katsa's astute hearing did not pick it up. When Po again stood up straight, Bitterblue wore a smile. 

Po's hand reached for Katsa's, interlocking her fingers with his. He brought her hand up to his mouth, planting a kiss onto the back of her hand.

"Ready, love?"

Katsa smiled. Her free hand came to rest on the swell of her belly. "As ready as we'll ever be."

Together they turned, facing the large Lienid ship. 

As they climbed the ramp onto the ship, Katsa inwardly cursed. For the first time, she cursed the seclusion of Lienid. The sickness that had come with her pregnancy had eased as of late, but as she felt the sway of the ship, it seemed to creep up on her. She wanted nothing more in that moment than to lay down and snuggle against Po's larger frame. 

She let Po keep possession of her hand. She was not concerned with her balance, although she expected with the coming months, she likely would be. She continued to hold his hand because he was her lifeline, and if it comforted him to help the woman carrying his child onto the massive rocking ship, that was something she couldn't deny him.


	12. Gifts

Po lay awake, his mind at peace and his body swaying with the ship. Katsa was nestled in the crook of his arm, her head on his chest. They had been traveling for weeks, the coming winter's storms were unyielding. But none the less, Po was happy. Happy to be with Katsa and happy that he was all the more closer to being a father. At the thought, he carefully laid his hand on Katsa's stomach. 

The time on the ship had allowed her the rest she needed and for the time for their unborn baby to grow. There was no longer any doubt to whether or not Katsa looked pregnant. 

Po had wanted to write to his family, to share with them the exciting news. Katsa, however, was adamant on waiting to tell them in person. Thus, Po sent out a letter inviting his extended family to his home upon their arrival. Po was still modest, insisting that the Royal family would find his home cramped compared to the larger castles of his other siblings and not to forget his father's lavish castle in Ror City. 

His hand splayed over Katsa's belly. She was quite round indeed. A smile teased the corners of his mouth. Despite everything, there were days when he thought it all to be a dream. He still dreamt, after all, and his dreams were just as vivid if not more compared to when he had use of his eyes. Sometimes he would wake up disoriented and Katsa would have to remind him where and when he was. It wasn't something he was proud of. Po had liked to be in control of at least himself; that was what was most troubling for him—losing control—when he first lost his sight. He was content to lay there and rub his lover's belly.

Po gently shifted from under Katsa so that he could kiss her belly—one of his favorite pastimes. He opened up his mind in order to check if he'd woken her. Her dreams were instantly in his mind. She dreamed pleasant dreams and for that he was grateful. Most of the time, when Kasta would finally force herself to sleep, her mind would be blank, devoid of dreams or thoughts of any kind. But there were also times when Katsa had nightmares; one in particular that reoccurred often over the last ten years or so—dreams of Leck, the former King of Monsea and Bitterblue's father. Usually when that happened, Po would rock Katsa back and forth in his arms and whisper into her ear. It seemed to help and she never complained otherwise. On this night he was relieved that she slept restfully.

Sometimes when Po was lucky his grace would show him the world in highlights and shadows, reaching out at creating a map in his mind. Watching how the moonlight peered in through the cabin windows, shinning over the curves of her body, quickly aroused him—however not his intention. This moment was not about Po's physical needs.

He peppered gentle kisses on her smooth skin.

Suddenly images began to peer into his mind, not exactly shapes or objects, more like feelings. In Po's mind there seemed to be a overflow of emotions, indistinct and signified only by colors along the insides of his eyelids.

Po's head immediately lifted from Katsa's belly, turning to her. She was still fast a sleep, dreaming pleasantly. Po turned back to her belly and that's when he realized. His hand pressed over her rounded stomach. _Could it be the baby?_ he wondered.

The baby responded with emotions—emotions of love and happiness—once again flooding into Po's mind. Po was elated and mystified all at once. He'd been around pregnant woman before, particularly his brother's wives, never once had he sensed a baby's consciousness—at least not this early or this vividly. Perhaps it was because this child was his and somehow was afforded with a similar gift, that his unborn baby's thoughts were able to manifest into his as such. Po was merely speculating but he could not contain his elation.

"Wildcat of mine, wake up."

Her eyes fluttered several times before opening, adjusting to the moonlit cabin of the ship.

"What is it, Po?" She watched his face, his expression incredulous. "Is the baby alright?"

Po smiled a—what Katsa could only describe as predatory—grin. "The baby is great. He's great, Katsa."

Katsa sat up, Po's hand sliding from her belly. "How do you know the baby's a he?"

Po continued to smile, infuriating Katsa further. She wasn't sure in that moment whether she wanted to smack it from his face or kiss him.

"The same way I know a lot of things, love."

"Very funny. You've never been able to sense an unborn child like this before. Is your Grace expanding again?"

Po shook his head. "I don't know. It could be, but a part of me thinks that it's him."

"Him—our son."

Po nodded.

"This is amazing, Po. And terrifying."

"I know, love."


	13. Not before long

Katsa opened her eyes, the morning light peering in through the curtains. The fire had died down, the chilly air having stirred her. She was sleeping a lot lately, much more than she ever allowed herself to. Almost absentmindedly her hand went to her belly, so big and swollen as it was. Carefully, she rolled out of bed and went to place more logs in the fireplace. 

The castle was quiet, all who lived there respected her privacy and catered to her every whim. It took a lot of convincing on Po's part to allow herself to be doted upon. 

Going to the balcony, Katsa brushed the curtains aside and tugged on the handles, effectively opening the double doors. The air was crisp, stirring her nightgown. She stood straight, letting the breeze envelope her. Suddenly she felt movement in her womb and her hand went to rest on the spot. 

"You're up early."

Katsa smiled at the sound of Po's voice but did not turn. "Hmm, yes. Was it me you sensed or our son?"

Po's arms wrapped around her as he drew her into the warmth of his body. His hand came to rest over her own. "I was enjoying his dreams. He woke when you did, love."

Katsa didn't reply. She was content here. After a few moments she finally spoke. "The winter is almost over and with spring also comes our son. I only hope that Raffin will get here in time."

Po nuzzled his chin in her hair. "I am awaiting a response from him. Last I heard, his wife gave birth to healthy twin girls."

Katsa shook her head. "I still can't believe it."

"Neither can I." Only Katsa knew that Po wasn't talking about Raffin.

"You should also write to your family. We haven't seen your parents since we told them the news. I'm sure everyone who can make it would come to see our child born."

Po nodded. "Yes well, I'm not sure about my father. It took him forever to be in the same room as Skye after his confession. I'm not sure the birth of his newest grandson is enough to draw him into my company since admitting my true grace."

"He'll come around. He will forgive you sooner than you think."

"At least one of us thinks so." Po rubbed his other hand around Katsa's belly. "I'm more surprised that he did not insist we marry. A part of me is more afraid he'd force our marriage than anything else."

"Knowing him, he still might wish we do so in order for our son to be a legitimate heir, not that he is close in line or anything."

"Hmm," was all Po's response.

Finally Katsa turned to face him. Her large belly proved it more difficult to stand close together this way, but what she wanted most of all in that moment was to kiss him, and kiss him she did. She could never get enough or him. It was as if he was made for her and she for him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a small chapter but I hope you enjoyed it.


	14. Steam rising

Po slammed the door causing Katsa to flinch. She could not recall seeing him this angry in well, a long time. 

"Pack your things," he said to her.

"What?"

"We'll go to one of my brother's castles."

"Po, we aren't leaving."

"I can't stay here a second longer."

"He's your father." Katsa's arms crossed over her chest, leaning on her belly. She watched her love pace around their bedroom.

"He's insufferable, is what he is."

"This is your home. Why should we have to leave."

"I can't believe his audacity." He wasn't listening to her. "Insisting we get married! Ha! Who does he think he is."

"We knew it was a possibility."

"I mean, honestly. It's not as if I just met you and got you with child. We've been together for ten years. Ten years, Kat!"

Katsa shook her head. She watched him retrieve a bag from somewhere and he began stuffing it with each of their clothing.

"Po..."

"Not to mention that you saved his life from King Leck. Without you, who knows in what state Lienid would be in."

Katsa suddenly felt pressure in her womb and then a release. Her hand pressed against her belly. Liquid ran down her leg, puddling at her feet on the bedroom floor.

"Po."

"If he won't leave then we must be going. I'll have the horses readied."

"Po!"

He stopped in his tracks. "What is it, Wildcat?"

Katsa groaned. "Our son."

Po's unseeing eyes widened. "What? Now?"

"Yes, now."

"But Raffin isn't here yet."

"I don't think our son can wait."

Po dropped the pack at his feet.

"Miranda!" Po called one of the maids.

He went to Katsa's side at once, his arms wrapping around her. "You should be in bed," he soothed.

Katsa nodded. Bed was good. She let Po lead her to the bed, awkwardly waddling across the room.

Mere seconds passed, although it felt like ages to Katsa. Miranda poked her head into the room. "Yes, your highness?"

"The child is coming."

"Oh, dear."

"Indeed."

Miranda disappeared. 

"How are you feeling?" 

She knew he didn't need to ask; he could feel it with his grace. 

Her breaths were coming in short. This was all happening sooner than she had hoped. Raffin was en route, he could arrive at any moment. But she couldn't wait. 

Po smoothed the hair back from her face and then busied himself fluffing pillows to stuff behind her. Katsa couldn't help it, she laughed.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"You."

"I'm glad I amuse you."

"You should be, the way you were carrying on about your father and now this."

Po hung his head. "I'm sorry. My outburst brought this on, didn't it."

Katsa shrugged, finding some relief between the contractions. 

"We're going to be parents, Po."

"I know. I'm terrified."

She placed her hand over his. "You'll do fine."

"We both will." He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed the back of her hand.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think so far :D


End file.
